Thursday, May 05, 2005

One Hour Left

Get to BP! Now! Brian (comments below) had the brilliant idea of posting as Pat O'Brien, but there's nothing that says he has to be the only one. We don't do this for a living.

105 comments:

Yuda said...

Speaking of BP, is it me, or is Stephen Goldman just about the most pretentious, circumlocutious writer... well, pretty much ever?

That tripe he turns out might work in print, but I've never made it more than two paragraphs into anything he's ever written on the screen.

Yuda said...

The extent of Will Carroll's focus on Terrmel:

Terrmel Sledge, the original Alex Sanchez, heads to the DL with a strained hamstring.

Ryan said...

I used to love Goldman. He was the main reason I forked over my 40 bucks to BP. But he's been showing a real arrogant streak on the Pinstriped Blog, and of course I'm not paying to read his BP stuff anymore.

Way to stay on top of it, Will! I guess if you don't say anything, you don't say anything wrong.

Yuda said...

The BP folks are essentially getting an extended tryout from me this season, since I paid for two years back in winter '03.

So far, it's not gone well: Joe Sheehan and Jim Baker are the only columnists I've been enjoying, and even then it's been inconsistent.

Ryan said...

Buckle the fuck up, everybody; here we go!

Ryan said...

*Ahem* Dayn? Hello?

Yuda said...

The fucker's already afraid.

Yuda said...

Of course, Nate Silver's last chat started 45 minutes late.

Ryan said...

Oh, for fuck's sake. You're not making any friends here, Dayn.

Yuda said...

If he had actual friends, he wouldn't have to invent them in his columns.

Ryan said...

Touche.
Anyone submitted anything good?

Yuda said...

My plan was to let him build up some steam and start bombarding him maybe 15 minutes in.

Yuda said...

Here we go!

Yuda said...

Egads, he's writing a book.

Ryan said...

He's in Wannabe Neyer Mode, I see.

Yuda said...

Hot damn, the Cardinals are good this year.

Of course, I said that about the Eagles back in September, too...

Ryan said...

I'm gonna gloat like hell when the Cards win that division by 30 games. Fucking cakewalk.

Yuda said...

Dayn seems a little slow on the uptake today.

Ryan said...

Probably wondering why Pat O'Brien keeps writing him.

Paula Abdul said...

He's not answering my question about our dream date in one of his Fox pieces.

Basil said...

Good grief, we've reached an absolute nadir here! ;-)

Ryan said...

I'm so fucking into you, Paula.

Brian said...

I keep asking him about cocaine and hookers ... over and over again

Brian said...

and imaginary girlfriends

Basil said...

Damn, that Nien Numb is one distinguished gentleman!

Ryan said...

You want to go crazy with him Basil? You could get some coke and some hookers just go fucking crazy.

Basil said...

Goldman's writing another book, too, you know.

Basil said...

Nah, but I'll see if Skip Caray is interested.

Ryan said...

Goldman's not a drooling idiot, though.

Basil said...

This chat is moving at galacial pace. No, Herbert Perry pace.

Brian said...

I think I have asked about 45 questions as Pat O'Brien and 5 as Frank Robinson challenging him to come out to RFK

Ryan said...

Jesus, Dayn. I can't take that long to come up with this shit. I bet he saw Kirsten Dunst on E! and got distracted.

Basil said...

I was going to ask him to explain that passage in the team essay about "nervous eyes" at the so-called jersey unveiling. But then:

a) he's not Zumsteg;
b) he wouldn't have answered it anyway; and,
c) I'm sick anyway and just didn't feeling like digging up the quote.

Ryan said...

Do it, Basil! He might answer that one. It's not, you know, obscene.

Basil said...

Are you kidding? He'd settle for the Katie Couric clone on FOX News right now! (I have not the strength to use the remote.)

Brian said...

my latest question ...

from Rob Neyer in Bristol, CT: "Don't you just wish you were me?"

Ryan said...

Ba-ZING!

Brian said...

I think Dayn is thinking about getting fucking crazy with Pat, Betsy, and his imaginary girlfriends. He really wants to suck Pat's dick

Basil said...

Just saw a Peter Angelos mesothelioma commercial!

Anonymous said...

Dayne's being very selective at the plate; he's letting a lot of pitches go by. I think his BB/IP must be around 50/1 right now.

Brian said...

his slam at the the flood of DC-related questions

Ryan said...

That's it about the Nats? You've got some shit to answer for, you creepy little bitch. 'Fess up.

Anonymous said...

Er, is that BB/PA ?

Anonymous said...

I think that Bowden Q was a fat pitch lobbed to him by one of his BP buddies.

Basil said...

Just posted this question, not that it'll matter:

Dayn, I know you didn't write the Nats essay, but can you possibly explain this passage---

Wilkerson went on the All-Star tour in Japan as an Expo, even as MLB was moving the team. He wore the Expo colors in the Tokyo Dome, a week before the team's new uniforms were held out and waved like capes as if the presenters were matadors. Above their nervous smiles, eyes darted around the room, scanning the crowd for the angry, wounded Expos fan who might charge the next flash of fabric.

----when it:

a) has no basis in chronological fact, and

b) presumably refers to the logo unveiling, where the only "nervous smiles" resulted from a DC Green Party member crashing the shindig. Last I checked, DC Greens didn't have "Expo vindication" on their platform.

Yuda said...

New question for him:

Dude, this is the best pace you can manage? Are you typing with one hand? Wait...don't answer that.

Brian said...

probably from Will Carroll in between loofahing Dayn's stretch marks.

Brian said...

damn, Dayn makes Sheinin look like friggin Shirley Povich

Basil said...

Worst. Chat. Ever.

Brian said...

maybe it's time to just starting sending him a slew of obscenities

Yuda said...

No, the worst chat ever was "Screech on Screech," but this is a close second.

Ryan said...

Agreed. "Hey Dayn, who'd Carroll have to blow to get a BP job, and was it the same guy you had to blow?"

Brian said...

Screech on Screech had a camp factor to it ... this is just fucking depressing

Brian said...

perfect question, Ryan

Ryan said...

Yuda, what was worse, "Screech on Screech" or "Us on Screech on Screech"?

Basil said...

I disagree, Yuda. I wasn't there for much or all of it, but in reviewing your comments at least the freak answered questions rapidly enough to keep our little cabal's discussion going.

Ryan said...

In German!

Brian said...

just remember, "Trust the Dust"

Basil said...

Definitely not you guys. I read it after the fact, and it was still hilarious.

Basil said...

This is getting a Capone's vault feel to it.

Ryan = Geraldo!

Brian said...

my latest ...

Why so much animosity for the Nationals? Was one of your imaginary girlfriends from DC? Did she break your heart?

Yuda said...

I'm half tempted to start asking him real baseball questions just so he answers something.

Ryan said...

There was nothing in Al Capone's vault
But it wasn't Geraldo's fault

Brian said...

What is a RBI? What does ERA mean?

Basil said...

Yeah, but the hype, Ryan.

We had such expectations for this!

Ryan said...

As "Joe Sheehan": "Dayn, I just read your work and FoxSports.com, and you are SO FUCKING FIRED."

Yuda said...

Score!

Ryan said...

Weak. If the Nats fail, it doesn't hurt Bud Selig and all Dayn's other bogeymen, it hurts us. And it doesn't Montreal at all, either. Weak shit, you vindictive bitch.

Ryan said...

And yes, I am aware of the irony of my calling Dayn vindictive.

Brian said...

Tony Tavares was mine

Yuda said...

"While it's true that Montreal got something of a raw deal, they didn't really go to any lengths at all to prevent the team from moving. The fans stopped coming to the park; no owner who wanted to keep the team there stepped up to buy the team (a la Paul Allen and the Portland TrailBlazers).

But, it's not just your column that has us pissed off. For the last six months there's been a notable and clear bias against the city of Washington and the team playing in RFK. I recognize that all the writers here have favorite teams, and I expect that kind of bias to come out from time to time. But rooting against a particular team just because you don't like Bud Selig -- with no other reason to do so -- isn't going to win you many fans in the area.

Through all this, the only BP writer who's been professional about the topic if the Expos moving to D.C. is Jonah Keri -- ironic, given he's the one writer who's actually been injured in the whole scenario.

But beyond that, what it boils down to is the quality of BP has gone down -- way down -- over the last couple of years. You guys have been phoning it in since sometime around early August last year. When's the last time you checked a fact? Hell, Nate Silver last month linked to an article claiming that Jim Bowden was looking to trade for Neifi Perez. The article talked about his interest in Damian Jackson, Pokey Reese or Wilson Betemit as a backup shortstop. None of those players are named Neifi Perez.

You guys have started reaching conclusions first and trying to find data -- or even just ignoring what data you do find -- to fit said preconceptions.

I'd have already let my subscription lapse if I hadn't paid for two years in 2003; I know several people who *have* let theirs lapse. If you don't want to address it, that's fine. Half the staff has cushy writing gigs at places like Fox Sports now.

Of course, those outside cushy writing gigs are probably part of the problem, as I suspect everybody is saving their A game"

Yuda said...

Jesus, that's a downright novel, isn't it?

Ryan said...

Nice work, Yuda. And you didn't even resort to swears.

Brian said...

channelling Chris, I see

Brian said...

I'm upset he isn't answering any Pat O'Brien questions ;)

Ryan said...

I thought he'd be the type who'd be so fucking into Betsy.

Ryan said...

O's are better than the Yankees, according to Dayn.

Basil said...

That was one hell of a question, Brian/Tony.

Brian said...

I take issue with his SLG reqmt of Vinny. Greater than .500? There were only 43 guys last year with .500 or better last year. If he slugs > .500, Dayn needs to fellate him.

Yuda said...

So my only guess as to what's taking him so long is that the real question to harassment from us ratio is about 1:100

Basil said...

I see that this chat just furthers my impression that Prospectus is now nothing but glorified blogging.

Mid/late-90s, where have you gone?

Yuda said...

Hell, if Vinny manages something like 280/320/425 over the full season, with his defense, he'll have earned his money

Yuda said...

I guess Needham submitted that last one.

Brian said...

I just responded as Vinny ... accepting the challenge but pointing out the level of his request versus his 2005 cost

Basil said...

One thing's for sure: I can't wait for Ryan's post tonight!

Ryan said...

Too . . . much . . . pressure . . .

Basil said...

Stay on target.

Yuda said...

Okay, that's just pussying out.

Ryan said...

Well, somebody get him. I'd better not.

Brian said...

amen ... he reached critical mass ... Ryan, I believe the honor is yours

Brian said...

Nats Blog?

Yuda said...

I don't want him in my place, fingering up the flatware. I think Basil's the most appropriate, given the Inquirer moniker.

Brian said...

How about on 'Box O'Rants'?

Ryan said...

"My goal is to get Dayn to cut the chat short because he's getting too much abuse..." -Yuda

I think that counts.

Ryan said...

Damn, that was like 10 questions. He sure likes the O's.

Yuda said...

Score!

I've got the Os in second place, but missing the wild card.

Of course, if Oakland keeps hitting like a little league team, the WC is there for the taking.

Ryan said...

I certainly don't see the O's staying in front of the Sox. Yankees? Maybe.

Brian said...

No way the O's stay in front of both of them. One. Maybe. Both. No way.

Ryan said...

B'lieve, hon!

Basil said...

Yeah, he'll do a chat . . . and answer three questions over the course of 90 minutes.

I'll volunteer my blog, sure. But I'm not too tech-savvy, so maybe someone else's house is better-suited.

Ryan said...

"But I'm not too tech-savvy, so maybe someone else's house is better-suited."

Sounds like a job for Yuda . . .

Yuda said...

I don't really have the means to put anything like that in.

I'd suggest, actually, collecting questions and doing an email interview with him, if we do anything.

Basil said...

That's a good idea, Yuda. Shall we select an organizing committee?

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