tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72731272011-08-16T23:13:06.791-04:00My slang is editorial.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.comBlogger6161100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-37889136205579525672011-05-03T19:12:00.000-04:002011-05-03T19:12:48.454-04:00

The Philly fans just cheered the hell out of Jayson Werth. I don't think it was just because he's totally dreamy. Could it be that the conventional wisdom of the sports section is wrong?

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-20424421751041988102011-05-02T20:03:00.001-04:002011-05-02T20:17:38.713-04:00

I don't have anything to say about baseball, but I always have an opinion about watching baseball. The highlight of the weekend's action was watching the crack MASN camera team bring the catcher narrative to life for us. On Sunday, Ivan Rodriguez picked up one of his late, agonizing hits on the way to 3,000, and the announcers took the opportunity to talk about how maybe Pudge is being pushed to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-91864002930365063122011-04-21T20:29:00.000-04:002011-04-21T20:29:44.596-04:00

Rick Ankiel continues to impress. Not as a ballplayer, because he's been awful, but as a story. Not only is he in many important ways just like a dinosaur, he appears to be just a heck of a nice guy. During his first trip back to St. Louis as an opposing player, Ankiel thanked Cardinals fans with an advertisement in the city’s main newspaper. “Many Thanks to Cardinals’ fans and the City of St.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-62360461630360562042011-04-11T21:29:00.002-04:002011-04-12T08:49:45.035-04:00

You hear about this Rob Dibble controversy? It's about the silliest thing ever, but it gives me an opportunity to take a snarling walk down memory lane. Rob Dibble was fired from his analyst job after Stephen Strasburg's season-ending injury prompted him to make some of those feral "walk it off, rookie!" noises that you may remember from when Ryan Church ran into a wall. He recently claimed that

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-26256818339402221602011-04-08T20:54:00.004-04:002011-04-08T21:15:02.773-04:00

I got to say - I don't expect much from this team, but I do expect a certain level of competence against the Mets. So good work and keep it up. PS. Ok, I'm annoyed, and MASN has a damn problem. I was watching MASN and wondering when the O's game was going to come on. That's when I heard the Manny Ramirez news, from Johnny Holliday and Ray Knight. They said: "Manny Ramirez is retiring." I

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-74338520379920893272011-04-06T18:37:00.001-04:002011-04-07T11:03:35.907-04:00

I guess it wasn't about getting Desmond out of the leadoff spot after all. Ian Desmond will return to the leadoff spot tonight rather than swapping places with Danny Espinosa as Manager Jim Riggleman had originally planned. Espinosa will play tonight against the Marlins, but Riggleman simply changed his mind after saying yesterday he planned to hit Desmond, who began the season 0 for 13, seventh

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-50354247536483325482011-04-05T20:30:00.000-04:002011-04-05T20:30:22.432-04:00

They've rolled out the B-team four games into the season. Santangelo likes it, but I kinda want my money back. I wasn't prepared for a Cora - any Cora! - in the starting lineup just yet. Other than my disgruntledness, the big effect here is to hide for a day the drastic reshuffling of the lineup. Ian Desmond, who's looked as bad as anyone can over three games, is no longer leading off; Danny

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-35194589515752269732011-04-03T21:54:00.000-04:002011-04-03T21:54:35.724-04:00

Ankylosaurus was an herbivorous dinosaur that wielded a club made out of a bunch crap that congealed at the end of its tail. The typical Ankylosaurus found its target only occasionally, but it did enough damage on those occasions to make its Cretaceous contemporaries think twice about messing with it. Rick Ankiel is an omnivorous outfielder that wields a club made out of wood, which he swings

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-60173275201528847372011-04-01T12:20:00.001-04:002011-04-01T12:25:18.237-04:00

I don't know about you, but I need a breather after all that excitement. Good thing we get the night off, so that we can follow up an afternoon of of ¡LIVAN!'s gelatinous majesty with an evening with a band called Livan in Falls Church. 8 pm at the State Theater. Get your tickets here. So let's see here: ¡LIVAN! rules Offense sucks Bullpen rules The last time all those things happened at once,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-86428813481160139502011-03-31T09:05:00.000-04:002011-03-31T09:05:06.326-04:00

In preparation for today, I finally washed my Nats cap. The thing was a disaster, encrusted literally with the detritus of countless lawn-mowings and figuratively with the detritus of years of Nationals fandom. This, I thought, was a new beginning. I would wash away all the sweat and little bits of grass that somehow wound up on my head and awful Boswell columns and Nook Logan at-bats, and

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-24450730862862063292010-06-08T19:41:00.003-04:002010-06-08T19:52:14.368-04:00

This is AWESOME. Omen Update: I got a hit today from Strasbourg, France.  DUDE!  Say hi to the geese for me, mysterious accidental French reader.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-81303725814408929872010-04-23T19:57:00.001-04:002010-04-23T19:57:57.106-04:00

So I splurged for Extra Innings this year (love it!).  I just turned on the Rays/Jays game, and there's Kevin Kennedy's giant Easter Island head in the booth talking about . . . wait, what?! Former Major League Baseball manager Kevin Kennedy was among eight individuals that subdued a man threatening to blow up a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Tampa, Fla., early Friday morning."He said, 'I'm

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-19817884973064756822010-04-01T19:23:00.000-04:002010-04-01T19:23:47.522-04:00

Look, I'm not going to pretend I spent a huge amount of time thinking about the Washington Post beat writer situation after Barry Svrluga left.  When that fancy lad "Chico" Harlan made an ass of himself, I pointed at him and said "hey, look."  That's about it.  Now we have this Adam Kilgore guy, and I totally didn't notice.  Until now. Sorry for today's absence of game updates. For some reason,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-18765785356671662172010-03-11T17:22:00.000-05:002010-03-11T17:22:08.777-05:00

I mean, they pretty much made it all up - didn't even interview me - but at least they spelled my name right.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-54598210537743694282010-02-28T20:28:00.000-05:002010-02-28T20:28:16.350-05:00

So this year instead of writing buttery paeans to ¡Livan! or yelling at Chico Harlan or whatever, I'm trying this out.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-68962324272346463432009-08-31T20:21:00.003-04:002009-08-31T20:24:12.959-04:00

Yeah, a little. On balance, we're still fatter than we were two weeks ago.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-76239507684995644582009-08-26T19:25:00.002-04:002009-08-26T19:28:33.857-04:00

It ain't just me!

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-7061640099193474202009-07-28T19:14:00.003-04:002009-07-28T19:21:11.578-04:00

I still haven't magically developed the coding ability to put that damn poem in a format that doesn't take up the entirety of the front page and the July archive, so hold on. But I totally looked at a Nats-related thing today (lay off, man. I just picked up Wii Sports Resort), and here's what I found.That sequence of uncommon efficiency pointed to a broader, sustained truth about Lannan's

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-30515854472579375152009-07-22T19:00:00.004-04:002009-07-23T18:30:21.103-04:00

Y is for Youth, that’s the Plan that we followThough the record we have makes it tougher to swallowWe’re better than last year, if I may be so boldWe still lose all the time, but at least we’re not oldZ is for Z-Men(n) – we’ve two of them nowR. at the corner, J. on the moundBy the time that we’re good – and this is a suretyBoth Z’s will be collecting Social SecurityThanks to FromOldBooks for the

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-37439162635422420342009-07-15T20:44:00.003-04:002009-07-15T20:51:18.917-04:00

I'm going to finish this thing next week. I just realized that I have to go to an actual Nats game tomorrow, and preparing for that's interfering with my usual poetical routine of absinthe, opium, and RhymeZone.com, the rhyming dictionary. So stay tuned, and does anyone have a rhyme for "1962 Mets"?

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-1555108266677974322009-07-14T19:48:00.007-04:002009-07-14T21:26:01.146-04:00

W’s for W, red, white, and curly(My cap is a pink one – don’t say it’s girly)We should be careful – it might mean tall greenIf the lawyers decide we stole it from WalgreensX is for Treasure, cause X marks the spotBad teams get good draft picks and good teams do notOur death grip on last place ensures there’s no dangerThat we won’t get first dibs on that catching teenagerThanks to FromOldBooks for

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-8855758390483119282009-07-13T19:40:00.003-04:002009-07-13T19:55:01.008-04:00

U is for Unicorn, rarest of creaturesA horn and not existing are its greatest featuresThe odds of you finding one out in the woodsAre the same as the Nats being any damn goodV is for Victory, that slippery dameShe doesn’t come ‘round much at Nationals gamesJust when you think that she’s coming our wayIn comes the bullpen to scare her awayThanks to FromOldBooks for the letters, thanks to the Nats

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-86274937764899670322009-07-09T20:20:00.006-04:002009-07-09T20:36:19.316-04:00

S is for Strasburg, whose bonus will floor usThat's what you get when you roll with Scott BorasI can't say I care - he's not after my moneyBut you can see how the Lerners don't think it's funnyT is for Trees, our fine cherry blossomsThe first week of the season, they look pretty awesomeBut when May rolls around, the view’s gone to pottyThe trees are all bare, and they look like dead bodiesThanks

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-21495995720183300702009-07-08T20:17:00.004-04:002009-07-08T20:35:30.718-04:00

Q is for Quaff (that's a dork word for "drink")The Nats are more fun when you’re too drunk to thinkAnother Q word, one that here fits right in:The Quinine in tonic, which goes with your ginR is for Reds, where our players come fromPena and Kearns, also Lopez and DunnWe didn't do well, but the Reds are quite testySince Bodes set them up with a broken MajewskiThanks to FromOldBooks for the letters,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-61728504743805662342009-07-07T20:23:00.009-04:002009-07-08T20:34:25.889-04:00

O's for the O's, our orange friends up the roadWhose owner, it happens, is a godawful toadWe've got little to boast when it’s time to get hatin'But as bad as things are, our owner's not SatanP is for Presidents running aroundThey get your hopes up, but then Teddy falls downIt’s a good thing they’re there and a good thing they runIt’s the only time Nats fans see something that’s funThanks to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-41036967591038590252009-07-06T20:20:00.006-04:002009-07-06T20:28:21.846-04:00

M is for Milledge, aspiring rapperWhose baseball career has gone down the crapperIt was bad before, now it’s worse by a bitWe sent him to Pittsburgh for a guy who can’t hitN is for Nick, with his nifty moustachesThe baseballs he fields, the baseballs he bashes!Enjoy while you can all his walks and base knocksSince soon he’ll be working for the Boston Red SoxThanks to FromOldBooks for the letters,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-58641348419400592632009-06-28T12:35:00.002-04:002009-06-28T12:56:06.192-04:00

I'm going on vacation, so you'll have to wait a week for the resumption of the triumphant Nationals alphabet. I apologize for any weeping and depression that may ensue, but it's not like I can throw off my gauntlets in the middle of a LARP and drop internet rhymes on everyone.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-24643667034289113522009-06-25T18:27:00.003-04:002009-06-25T18:33:53.643-04:00

K is for striKeout, which means it’s for DunnStrike three sailing by him – that’s not very funAs bad as that is, it’s nothing at allTo Dunn in the outfield, dropping the ballL is for Lannan, our top lefty hurlerWith eyebrows so long he could use a hair curlerBatters may be distracted - they must be surprisedWhen they see the sasquatches over his eyesThanks to FromOldBooks for the letters and

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-32907448924578683972009-06-24T20:00:00.003-04:002009-06-25T18:34:20.421-04:00

I is for Interim, like our GMWill Mike Rizzo stay on the job in the end?I can think of one good reason he'll get the spot:Just not being Jim Bowden counts for a lotJ’s for the Journalists who cover our teamThe fans thirst for content, and they produce reamsThe season is long, and it must be a slogIt only gets worse: now they have to write blogsThanks to FromOldBooks for I, and thanks to Chico

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-17158705401570729882009-06-23T18:37:00.002-04:002009-06-23T19:27:08.308-04:00

G is for Guillen, from back in the dayA hot-headed fellow indeed was JoseBodes brought him in – I don’t think he was kidding –Based on his skillfulness at babysittingH is Hernandez, my main man LivanWho’s been growing sideways since he has been goneHe’s not very good – take a look at his statsBut he turns into Maddux when facing the NatsAnd here's a special bonus stanza for Nate:G's for GUZMANIA!

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-46466956706972799942009-06-22T19:29:00.005-04:002009-06-22T20:26:42.826-04:00

E is for Expos, our Frenchy forebearersWho decamped to the south for a ballpark much fairerSince then they’ve performed with a maladroit touchJe regrette, Montréal, but you ain’t missing muchF is for Flores, poached from the MetsWhich adds to the long list of that team’s regretsWe’ve been waiting around for Jesús to save usBut he keeps getting hurt, so we’re stuck with NievesThanks to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-18966561999052814462009-06-21T10:11:00.008-04:002009-06-22T20:02:24.610-04:00

C is for Cristian (no H in his name)We used to be better when he came up lameHe’s now got new eyeballs, new shoulder, new spleenHe’s a whole new ballplayer – is he man or machine?D is for Dibble, with his World Series RingHe played the game; that’s why he’s got the blingIf ever you question his statements or hunchesIt’s cool that you do, but bring own lunchesThanks again to FromOldBooks for the

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-40757408860544895142009-06-18T20:46:00.004-04:002009-06-18T20:49:54.435-04:00

I think it's time for a little culture around here. Let's begin!A is for Acta, our soon former bossEvery win to his credit, to his debit each lossAdd these things up and it’s quite plain to seeThat he won’t be around by the time we hit ZB is for Bowden, or Bodes to his palsDudes love the Segway, leather pants thrill the galsIf you ever meet him, he’s surely not blandBut check for your watch

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-39163058212061405122009-06-15T20:07:00.002-04:002009-06-15T20:27:27.429-04:00

Manny Acta's still the manager, and I think I've figured out why. Obviously, management doesn't think he contributes to winning games. Why else would they let it be known, in their typically loathsome, passive-aggressive manner, that they're going to fire him?But now losing doesn't look so bad. 16-year-old catcher Bryce Harper, subject of a self-parodically overblown Sports Illustrated cover

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-75314752165537914312009-06-11T20:08:00.003-04:002009-06-12T07:45:16.874-04:00

Hey Dibble, what happened to edgy?Remember that laughable slapfight the Robs Dibble and Neyer got into earlier this week? R-Dibbs seems to have scrubbed it from his Twitter. It happened June 7, but check it now. On the 6th we get a telegram dispatch from the last good Nats game: John Lannan CGVs The Mets 21 1st pitch strikes, 1st CG in The Show. Nice jobThen on the 8th we're treated to a stream

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-63123298887978288772009-06-10T18:02:00.003-04:002009-06-11T05:04:13.751-04:00

Look, I don't know nothing about no draft. I'm just as elated about the start of the Drew Storen Era as the rest of you, but I'm pretty clueless beyond that. That's what this guy does, and let's all be glad he's there.The story that seems to be coming out of this, though, is that after taking Stephen Strasburg, the Nats went all Chris Rock at the rib place on us.Above: Chris Rock as Mike Rizzo,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-27460305215101007102009-06-08T20:01:00.004-04:002009-06-08T20:48:42.477-04:00

So many stupid things happen to the Nats that I forget probably half of them. Here's another one to throw on the pile.D.C. Fire Chief Dennis L. Rubin yesterday ordered that all fireworks displays at Washington Nationals games be suspended until a safety review can be conducted, after fireworks debris landed on him as he watched a game, a department spokesman said today.I don't know about you,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-36644020989521980142009-06-04T20:04:00.004-04:002009-06-04T21:22:41.957-04:00

In my office, we rely on daily calendars to amuse ourselves because the alternative is me complaining about the Nats all day. I have a baseball calendar, replete with birthdays and impossible trivia questions. One coworker has a trivia calendar - each day brings a new question about geography or history or whatever. It's like Jeopardy for people (like me) who can't stand Alex Trebeck.They're

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-11280678398159364602009-06-02T18:02:00.004-04:002009-06-02T19:04:31.016-04:00

You could argue that in the history of the Washington Nationals, Randy St. Claire was the only member of the non-playing part of the team that ever did a damn bit of good for anyone. We've had terrible hitting coaches, bad managers, and worse GMs. We always had a good pitching coach, though.St. Claire did two remarkable things, remarkable both for their on-field impact and how easy they are to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-48494583824834163322009-06-01T18:59:00.002-04:002009-06-01T19:26:50.781-04:00

On Friday I donned native garb and went to walk among the infidel in Baltimore. It was a special occasion - the arrival of Matt Wieters. Maybe you heard something about it.Once I got accustomed to the weird accents and garish orange garb of the natives, I realized something: I was having approximately a million times more fun than I ever did at a Nats game. Approximately.It's not because I'm

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-76654284494429840182009-05-27T18:30:00.003-04:002009-05-27T18:34:04.263-04:00

Hoo boy, did we ever get Livaned. I kind of enjoyed it, I have to admit, and I would have enjoyed it even more if the big guy had hit a triple or something. Did you see that crap he was throwing, those slide whistle curveballs? I miss it. It's still real to me, dammit.I'm not going to enjoy so much losing to Santana, but what can you do? Sometimes the unstoppable force meets the

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-18739772822906699432009-05-26T17:36:00.002-04:002009-05-26T18:06:35.855-04:00

I just realized that it's ¡Livan! Night! It's a night of divided loyalties and gelatinous, 80 mph fastballs, and it should be a natinal holiday. I love ¡Livan! so damn much, and it hurts me that he's a Met now. And this time he's going up against my man Craig Stammen, so my loyalties aren't as divided as they usually are on ¡Livan! Night.Please indulge me - I'm going to get all nostalgic for

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-70042488152129710662009-05-25T19:29:00.005-04:002009-05-25T20:31:43.613-04:00

I spent most of my weekend in Natstown, just like they're always telling me to - I was there Saturday and Sunday. I'd recommend it, as long as you don't have to get on the Metro afterward. Some observations:I'm estimating 40% Orioles fans.Ryan Zimmerman is good at baseball.The ovation for the troops each day was the only thing the crowd could agree on and the longest anyone seemed interested in

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-7652212967549841122009-05-21T20:38:00.001-04:002009-05-21T20:39:50.096-04:00

I'm kind of relieved that Manny let a starter blow a lead for once. Really.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-43009624207874018442009-05-20T21:21:00.003-04:002009-05-20T21:26:05.107-04:00

Apparently Jordan Zimmermann addresses John Lannan as "Eyebrows." If I were ever talking to Lannan, I wouldn't have the stones to say that, but I'd sure as hell be thinking it. Dude looks like a Batman villain's henchman.Why yes, they are real. Why do you ask?

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-53381547329317072332009-05-19T18:26:00.003-04:002009-05-19T19:14:47.984-04:00

I made the mistake of watching the Nats game on Monday night, and I kept thinking of the Dusty Finish.The Dusty Finish is a professional wrestling booking technique popularized by jive-talking fat man Dusty Rhodes. Basically, you make the crowd think that the good guy has won and maybe even taken the title from the bad guy (usually Ric Flair). Then, some pro-wrestling nonsense happens (double

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-75650922838981870112009-05-06T19:48:00.002-04:002009-05-06T20:12:00.063-04:00

So Tom Boswell has for a while been making arguments that the Nats shouldn't draft Stephen Strasburg. Whatever. Neither I nor anyone else listens to anything Boz has to say - you've got to wonder how a polished, embarrassed journalist like "Chico" Harlan feels about some crusty old sportswriter straight out of central casting intruding on his blog. But anyway, he did it again today by pointing

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-54315166005632190202009-04-29T20:38:00.002-04:002009-04-29T20:56:54.698-04:00

The Washington Examiner came wrapped in a Nats ad this morning. I usually pay it no more mind than I do the Epoch Times or the Washington Blade or any other of the free newspapers or sub-newspapers that beg for my commuting attention, but I grabbed it today.It was nothing but an ad - I had hoped for some Nats content to distract me from my Wodehouse, but nothing doing. Still, ads can be

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-32875740521914149372009-04-28T19:53:00.003-04:002009-04-28T20:05:52.905-04:00

I wrote something about pitch counts, particularly as they relate to Stephen Strasburg. Are links not showing up for you? They just look like normal text? I have complained about that.I was thinking about this, in an ill-formed kind of way: is there an analogue in any other sport to pitchers' arm injuries? Is there a body part that routinely fails just as a result of an athlete doing his job?

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-78503852681446465602009-04-27T18:04:00.004-04:002009-04-27T19:47:41.157-04:00

Did you ever notice that when the Nats make any kind of splash among the general baseball fan population, it's for something bad? Of course you have. Well it happened again recently, when Sports Illustrated's Tim Marchman put up something that's practically indistinguishable from my last ten or so posts, except for the lack of swears and kitten pictures.Here's the difference, though: look at

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-81793988839410863852009-04-25T16:20:00.003-04:002009-04-25T16:46:28.520-04:00

Well, that was just awful. Just completely, thoroughly, unjokeaboutably awful. Joking about that game would be like cracking wise at a funeral.Speaking of which, I think it's time for a Manny Acta Getting Shitcanned Watch. Whether or not it's his fault, this team cannot catch baseballs, and it's gotten so bad that every announcer we've got (with the intermittent exception of Sunny Bob

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-29907599052040526522009-04-23T18:44:00.004-04:002009-04-23T19:42:51.053-04:00

I watched the whole game last night, and at the end of it, I was pleased. "I say, old man," I said to myself, realizing as I did so that I'd been reading P.G. Wodehouse again, "that was a diverting three hours. Time to polish off the last fourth of this fifth and totter off to bed." Obedient as ever to the instructions of my internal monologue, I did so.I slept the innocent, dreamless sleep of

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-35276268969485958462009-04-22T18:31:00.002-04:002009-04-22T19:57:54.547-04:00

So I was reading Chico Harlan's latest chat on the Washington Post site. I always check those things out since Harlan's embarrassment is palpable, and I really like the way embarrassment feels. It's warm and kind of spongy, and it leaves your hands smelling a bit like tar.There was some discussion of Manny Acta's handling of Jordan Zimmermann during the young fellow's unwatched debut. With two

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-72590492063057774142009-04-21T18:54:00.002-04:002009-04-21T19:11:19.196-04:00

The "Natinals" incident has taught something about myself: I am steel. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm guessing that a fan of a better team would be pretty upset about that, or at least amused. I am neither. It is as nothing. Years of constant humiliation have made me immune, and I'm betting you're the same way.Yes, dear reader, embarrassment to us is like water off a duck's back. Our team makes

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-5194959670724166312009-04-19T17:44:00.003-04:002009-04-19T19:06:18.994-04:00

I ambled down to Nationals Park on Saturday to make it my pastime and get my red on and whatnot, and you could not have asked for a better day. As long as you ignore the on the field happenings, of course. I was favorably impressed: the staff was almost too friendly, the place is quite nice when it's only half full, it was a pretty good game for eight innings.One of my reasons for making a stop

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-61778888683817320112009-04-16T19:12:00.002-04:002009-04-16T19:24:12.448-04:00

I think I'm going to the game on Saturday - I'll be the guy in the pink Nats cap with his head in his hands. But there's point in mentioning that, since I'm probably going to be only person there. Right? I'm also going to get some pictures of those nightmare statues, which must have been designed by Nyarlathotep, accompanied by the piping of two amorphous idiot flute-players.See, that right

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-75900165435004706152009-04-13T18:05:00.007-04:002009-04-13T18:29:07.286-04:00

Do you like beer? Go to Denver! As I was strolling the ten blocks from my parking space to Coors Field, every third building was a brewpub. And, based on my limited sampling, a damn good brewpub. There was a even a distillery in there, which I like to think evolved Pokemon-style from a particularly accomplished brewery.Like this pretty much, except replace "ABRA" with "brewpub" and "KADABRA"

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-33479760314973924862009-04-07T20:10:00.004-04:002009-04-07T20:20:42.034-04:00

It's the second game of the season, and Rob Dibble is already apologizing for being repetitive before he talks about throwing at heads again. I guess we should congratulate him for his self awareness.Others who should apologize:Lastings Milledge for fielding his position about as well as he raps.The Marlins for kicking the shit out of us in such a predictable, unimaginative fashion.Holy crap,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-50564609071391026262009-04-06T17:23:00.017-04:002009-04-06T19:48:50.420-04:00

This is going to be one of approximately ten games over the course of the season that I'm going to be around for the end of, so I'm really paying attention. Starting . . . now! I missed the first three innings.I LOVE the new road jerseys. I wonder why the Nats and the Orioles decided at the same time to do that right.I'm good luck: I tuned in just in time for Guzman's single, and now we have a

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-76037464800104693082009-04-05T20:05:00.002-04:002009-04-05T20:36:37.184-04:00

Well, tomorrow's the afternoon, but whatever. This is going to the best one yet! I can feel it.Seriously, though, it very well could be the best season since the first one (over/under on how long it'll take the Nats to break .500? Anyone?). While that's not a particularly high bar to leap, anything north of "watchable" will be a mood-changing improvement.To see my mind-blowing official

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-83304059670208358952009-03-31T19:33:00.002-04:002009-03-31T20:29:24.362-04:00

You see that article in the Post about how much better things are now that Jim Bowden's gone? I don't know - something about that thing rubbed me the wrong way.Some of is just really obvious "the king is dead, long live the king" stuff - I mean, we heard a bit about the horror of the Bowden Regime while it was going on, but it's just so much easier to complain about the guy when he's no longer

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-67311273605127178912009-03-30T18:17:00.003-04:002009-03-30T19:37:46.734-04:00

You ever get internet nostalgia? The thing's been around long enough that it's inevitable. I miss ugly Geocities pages and Old Man Murray and websites with rumors about Diesel and Razor Ramon. But mostly Old Man Murray.I'm pleased to announce that, thanks to some murky technological developments in the (probably Eastern European) parts of the internet that I do not and do not want to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-76749489341097586312009-03-26T18:27:00.002-04:002009-03-26T21:08:11.623-04:00

I have long suspected that my thoughts were being monitored, read, indexed, and catalogued. What could I do? The accepted method for preventing this is the use of tin foil, and I could have wrapped my trademark cowboy hat in it. But when the integrity of the inside of my brain comes into conflict with fashion, fashion wins. Obviously.So I left my thoughts unprotected, unlike my legs, which were

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-42908900448720200442009-03-23T19:33:00.002-04:002009-03-23T19:57:16.731-04:00

So, it turns out that the Washington Post's Nationals beat writer hates his job.“I don’t like sports—I am embarrassed that I cover them,” Chico Harlan says. “I can’t wait to stop. It is a means to an end and a paycheck.”And who can blame him? I mean, this guy had to watch Paul LoDuca in the outfield.He apologized for this intemperate burst of honesty, and in doing so led us into Chico Harlan's

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-37418353109890942842009-03-16T18:49:00.003-04:002009-03-16T19:34:26.239-04:00

You'd think that just posting once a week I'd be able to come up with something. But thinking like that is what led to the Spruce Goose, Daikatana, Communism, and Lenny Harris: Hitting Coach. Julian Tavarez said some funny stuff, but the only jokes I could come up with about it are far too edgy for a space as high class as Distinguished Senators. So here's some Youtube videos, some of which I

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-52060582539881881632009-03-09T18:35:00.004-04:002009-03-09T19:50:56.391-04:00

Good news for fans of things existing: scientists have determined that, contrary to some apparently reasonable theories, things - everything, for instance - do continue to exist even when they're not being observed. Don't ask me how they did it, but quantum physicists have managed to look at photons without really looking at them. The verdict is that they're still there even when they don't

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-56096984870738394212009-03-02T18:04:00.004-05:002009-03-02T19:03:21.800-05:00

Happy Casimir Pulaski Day, everyone! As far as regional holidays go, this is definitely my favorite. It's much better than Lee-Jackson Day. Please enjoy this artistic representation of the last thing many a redcoat ever saw:You limeys are about to get PULASKIED!A further Bowden thought that has very little to do with Polish cavalry commanders: It seems like Bodes had been on kind of a hot

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-63243263852342897192009-03-01T18:18:00.005-05:002009-03-01T20:02:40.246-05:00

We're finally rid of Jim Bowden. Let's be honest: he had his moments. He pulled off some really nifty deals. Jesus Flores for nothing, for instance. He pulled off some other deals that sure seemed like coups, but didn't work out for one reason or another - the infamous Cincinnati hijacking, after which everyone we got turned into a pumpkin. Or my personal favorite, Vinny Castilla for Brian

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-86712855002158720802009-03-01T18:10:00.003-05:002009-03-01T18:18:22.007-05:00

A quick non-Bodes note. MLB Network has demanded that I pass along the following announcement:On Monday, March 2 at 9:00 p.m. ET, MLB Network will debut the first-ever original film from MLB Productions, We Are Young: A Baseball Family, the story of MLB players and brothers Dmitri and Delmon Young, who overcame personal struggles to persevere in the Major Leagues. . .We Are Young: A Baseball

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-4276075795594055972009-03-01T09:17:00.002-05:002009-03-01T09:20:28.047-05:00

From the Nationals Journal:Jim Bowden resigned this morning as Washington Nationals general manager. The team has not yet named a successor, even on an interim basis.Another original Nat bites the dust, and Bowden's one of the few (according to my recollections) who wasn't traded to Arizona. More later.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-320921837374179632009-02-23T17:26:00.010-05:002009-02-23T21:38:41.797-05:00

The bear ate Jose Rijo and now it's only getting faster.A federal investigation into the skimming of signing bonuses given to baseball prospects from Latin America is looking at Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden as far back as 1994, when he was GM of the Cincinnati Reds, according to a baseball executive familiar with the investigation.This is a pretty big deal. As far as I know,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-561204161239759922009-02-22T20:07:00.002-05:002009-02-22T20:09:25.343-05:00

It's like they say - when you're being chased by bear, you don't have to outrun the bear; you just have to outrun Jose Rijo.José Rijo, the Washington Nationals' front-office member linked most closely to the fraudulent signing of a Dominican prospect, has taken a leave of absence from the team.I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping that this is only the beginning of an organization-wide purification by

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-79834384262877920462009-02-19T17:47:00.005-05:002009-02-20T05:30:29.479-05:00

I'd always assumed that Stan Kasten was the smart one - if not the Robert DeNiro in Casino to Jim Bowden's Joe Bob Briggs in Casino, at least the Moe to his Curly. But now, I'm not so sure.It's probably not news to you that 19 year old Esmailyn "Smiley" Gonzalez, recipient of a $1.4 million bonus, turns out to be 23 year old Carlos Lugo Something Something (does it matter?) and not quite the

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-72022341233969329802009-02-16T13:12:00.002-05:002009-02-16T13:15:52.196-05:00

It took a lot of things coming together to ruin my brilliant marketing idea: a bad economy, a puzzling free agent market, and a player's particularly unappreciated skill set. The signing of Adam Dunn has pretty much ended any chance that my new slogan - We Ain't Got Bats, We Got Straps - would join previous sales pitches like Make It Your Pastime or Get Your Red On or 2008's regrettable The Aaron

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-63476752775372363312009-02-09T17:30:00.002-05:002009-02-09T17:36:45.955-05:00

I've been thinking about archaic grammar and how it relates to the Nationals. Our old friends the ancient Greeks had a number between singular and plural - the dual. It pretty quickly fell into general disuse and came to be used only for things that were usually found in twos, like twins or plow horses or testicles. If ever an ancient Greek could come up with a sentence that included a phrase

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-6070796480269358852009-02-02T17:51:00.003-05:002009-02-02T19:04:52.585-05:00

Baseball in 2009 starts tonight! Ramon Ortiz is on the hill, Cookie Rojas is in the booth, and we're off, live from Mexicali, the Chinesest city in all Mexico.And once again, no one seems to care but me. I can't find a scoreboard on ESPN - and keep in mind that ESPN's site makes damn sure to keep you up date on each and every score from the third tier Scottish soccer league.There is hope that

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-31941593473285976372009-01-26T17:54:00.002-05:002009-01-26T19:58:21.959-05:00

It's that time again. As the football season lumbers to its merciful conclusion, thoughts turn to February and to baseball. Not to, you know, real baseball, but to real baseball's harbingers. Stained artificial turf is its wilderness; fat former major leaguers are its locusts and wild honey. The Caribbean World Series is about to set straight the paths to Opening Day.MASN in the winter is as

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-86467967928236473112009-01-07T19:20:00.003-05:002009-01-07T20:02:04.571-05:00

I quote from my last post, which is more temporally than visually distant from this one.Seriously, historians are going to look back and see the early history of the Nationals as little but a parade of shitheads.That parade does not include John Patterson, who announced his retirement today. I get the feeling that years from now, vivid memories of Patterson will be one of the things that

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-47559188994459813262008-11-10T22:40:00.003-05:002008-11-10T22:42:35.896-05:00

Seriously, historians are going to look back and see the early history of the Nationals as little but a parade of shitheads. They won't be wrong.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-50470114369832954242008-07-24T18:42:00.005-04:002008-07-25T12:21:26.265-04:00

Damn. Look, I'm used to History proving me right. Remember when Will Carroll said DC's bid for the Expos was dead, and I disagreed? Remember when Will Carroll said that Daisuke Matsuzaka threw an inscrutable magical demon dragon pitch, and I disagreed? Remember when Will Carroll said that he was going to work out until he looked like Brian Giles, and I disagreed? But generally, it takes a while,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-22883344466019612152008-07-22T19:31:00.005-04:002008-07-22T20:07:41.292-04:00

It started as just a celebratory week and became a full three years, but the Jon Rauch Is Tall Quadrennium celebrations have been canceled; tattoo enthusiast, original Nat, and staunch gay marriage advocate Jon Rauch has been traded. The man with more career home runs off Roger Clemens than Albert Pujols is off to Arizona -- just as our raddest pitcher donned the preposterous colors of the

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-76132316358906516602008-07-08T17:58:00.005-04:002008-07-08T18:16:44.589-04:00

I had no idea I was a member of such an exclusive club. You've probably heard by now that Nationals games on MASN draw . . . well, look: it's not often that something reflects badly (really, really badly) on Nats fans and happens to be a completely inexplicable internet meme, so I'm just going to let the Internet itself explain this for me. One thing bigger than the viewership of Nats games?

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-84857333499974840172007-11-06T08:33:00.000-05:002007-11-06T08:52:06.023-05:00

Amazing. Immediately after I lamented the end of my symbiotic relationship with the news-breakers at Formula PR, Dan Guzman of WUSA-TV stepped in to the fill the void. Dan, no doubt driven by a burning desire to rehabilitate his last name among the Nationals cognoscenti, passes along this exclusive look inside the new ballpark that I had kind of forgotten they were building. Story by Dan

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-53500921318293909452007-11-05T08:47:00.000-05:002007-11-05T08:49:02.655-05:00

You may recall from the much-heralded relaunch of Distinguished Senators my commitment to bringing you the very best of all the press releases that landed in my inbox. I thought it went well for a post, but then my source at Formula PR stopped sending me releases. I figured we had a "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" relationship, but I guess I was wrong. Perhaps it was unwise of me to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-64925573251772634502007-10-02T21:58:00.000-04:002007-10-02T22:09:34.359-04:00

Alex Christopher, telling us what we're not ready to hear about the reptilian aliens under Denver International Airport.AC: If Phil is right, and all this hooks up to the deep underground base that he was offered the plans to build back in 1979, and that what this other man told me in private that there is a lot of human slave labor in these deep underground bases being used by these aliens, and

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-67157112060689354692007-10-01T20:32:00.000-04:002007-10-01T20:59:44.682-04:00

Dear Internet Baseball Community,I'm sorry that I was right. It's not like I didn't warn you.Your Pal,RyanP.S. "Mark" says hi.P.P.S. More Will. And the damn gyroball.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-4061292840386109932007-08-14T20:09:00.000-04:002007-08-14T20:45:54.614-04:00

Right. So I don't have anything to say, which was bound to happen sooner or later. Probably sooner. But lately I've been immersed in the marketing potential of blogs. I mean, I don't think there is much -- at least not with anything I'm involved in -- but going by the only emails I get these days, somebody must think there's potential. So in the spirit of the time I quoted an email from MASN

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-86602707129347948432007-07-27T08:53:00.001-04:002007-07-27T11:21:57.213-04:00

In an unbelievable turn of events, one that should but almost certainly won't serve as a wakeup call to the shiftless proprietor of this site, those wishing to read my thoughts on the Nationals must direct themselves to a Mets blog. Mets Today was rad enough to solicit my thoughts on the team, and what follows is certain to be the most insightful ten questions and answers you'll read about the

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-78435106754437253642007-07-11T21:29:00.000-04:002007-07-11T21:42:39.238-04:00

Dmitripalooza has to be dying down soon, right? Once the Nationals start playing again, alternative storylines will develop, like the one where Dmitri Young gets traded and the one where all remaining Nats fans shake their tiny fists at the cold, merciless Plan and the soulless men who serve it. So one last Meathook post, then I'm done for a while.The Examiner's Phil Wood has added his voice to

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-18043515311966258372007-07-10T22:12:00.000-04:002007-07-10T22:13:48.361-04:00

Ichiro is RAD.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-42575893594486854812007-07-09T21:06:00.001-04:002007-07-09T22:25:10.427-04:00

Problems with the home run derby:Chris BermanToo many people talkingToo many of those people are idiotsChris Berman had obviously never heard of Alex Rios until todayChris Berman trying to get himself over with his dumbass nicknames during player introductionsWhichever moron decided to let Berman do player introductionsCounting CrowsToo many commercialsWhere's Rickey?Harper's NEGATIVE ATTITUDE,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-33957713648080788272007-07-08T18:55:00.000-04:002007-07-09T19:43:09.537-04:00

Of course the Nationals should trade Dmitri Young. I can't believe there's even an argument about this. He's as much a part of the Nats' future as flying cars. Early indications are that Jim Bowden wants too much for him, which indicates that he thinks about the other 29 GMs the same way they think about him. Or maybe he just loves Da Meathook the way Tom Boswell loves Da Meathook.The Nats

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-77385934966567573272007-07-02T19:07:00.000-04:002007-07-02T19:14:59.166-04:00

Too many boos. I'm disappointed. What, you wanted him to turn down $8 million (or whatever) annually for you people? Yeesh.UPDATE: All the cheering for Ramirez' double indicates that there are plenty of Cubs fans there tonight. I know they weren't booing Soriano, so I can only assume that almost all the Nats fans were. I reiterate and amplify my earlier Yeesh.

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-13867490351073729632007-07-01T19:16:00.000-04:002007-07-01T22:06:23.439-04:00

I sort of re-learned two things today from watching the Braves game. One is that TBS, once home to little more than the Braves and Andy Griffith reruns, is about to show the All-Star Game, some of the playoffs, and eventually a whole pile of regular season games. I'm in favor of this. I've always found Turner's sports programming, both baseball on TBS and the NBA on TNT, to be about as good as

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-38794570231513766082007-06-28T19:22:00.000-04:002007-06-28T22:16:35.891-04:00

So the Nationals -- you probably knew this -- are non-embarrassingly bad. I know the day after a 13-run loss isn't the best time to bring it up, but it's true. Worst record in the league? Not us! Now, if you look at our expected record based on our runs scored vs. runs allowed, you should probably keep it to yourself, because that's almost as pointless as it is boring. I subject myself and

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-43790938839816208862007-06-11T20:44:00.000-04:002007-06-11T22:07:50.192-04:00

I just received a completely inexplicable email from MASN. It says it's for immediate release, so I'm releasing it. IMMEDIATELY!MASN to Add “Super Slo Mo” Video Replay to Orioles and Nationals Home Games(WASHINGTON, D.C.) – Providing fans even more access to Nationals and Orioles baseball, the Mid-Atlantic Sports Network will add “Super Slo Mo” video replays to its production of home games,

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-51385298137369165252007-06-04T20:56:00.000-04:002007-06-04T21:34:23.686-04:00

This is hard. I'm really trying here, but everything's working against me. The Nationals are bad but not so bad that it bears constant repeating. My new editorial stance is that maybe the people running things aren't hopeless buffoons, and I'm regretting it every time I sit down to write and find the tank where I keep my righteous indignation empty.I've always tried to use the crappiness of

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-41236308619365257412007-05-29T22:18:00.000-04:002007-05-29T22:26:06.749-04:00

Looks like the Nats are as happy to be back home as I am. But hey, there's no shame in losing to Brad Penny. And it was only Simontacchi -- all you want from him is innings. Just wait until we get to our real starters . . . oh. Wait.So today marks the first time I've ever learned something useful for interesting from the Washington Post Express. It wasn't something I couldn't have learned

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-81285933254275770712007-05-28T21:18:00.000-04:002007-05-28T22:11:45.099-04:00

So I went to Kentucky, and I felt like I was home. Everyone loved grits. Wherever there wasn't bourbon, there was at least the talk of bourbon or candies filled with it. Larry Glover, the play-by-play man for the Lexington Legends, did pretty much what I would do if I had such a position: complain about the Reds and mock the Yankees. It was like listening to a more mellifluous me coming out

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7273127.post-2809362831374906442007-05-21T22:16:00.001-04:002007-05-21T22:39:02.952-04:00

Here's how jaded the Nationals have made me: the last two years when we ran out of pitchers, I noted it. I ranted, I raved, I took cheap shots at a fellow man's choice of leather trousery. This year, it took me until the second start by some reliever with the obviously made-up name of "Levale Speigner" (is this an anagram? Anyone?) to notice. The reason, no doubt, is that the starters are so

Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16205825004111276799noreply@blogger.com3