Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Jon Rauch is Tall Quadrennium Canceled

It started as just a celebratory week and became a full three years, but the Jon Rauch Is Tall Quadrennium celebrations have been canceled; tattoo enthusiast, original Nat, and staunch gay marriage advocate Jon Rauch has been traded. The man with more career home runs off Roger Clemens than Albert Pujols is off to Arizona -- just as our raddest pitcher donned the preposterous colors of the Diamondbacks, so follows our second raddest. As ever, the tallest follows the fattest.

We got some papally-named infielder I ain't never heard of in return. Is this good? Well, here's how I look at it: Jim Bowden seems committed to spending his time exploring, like a tracksuited Magellan whizzing around on a Segway, novel forms of bad behavior. Every minute he dedicated to exiling Giant Jon to the desert was a minute he wasn't stealing money from Dominican teenagers, so whatever the outcome from a practical point of view, morally the trade's a winner.

Still, I can't help but get wistful when I look at this file photo of Rauch (left) and former Nats beat writer Barry Svrluga (right) talking about Panera during our very first Spring Training.
First Svrluga ran off to run his clothing empire, and now this. Every time an original National leaves, I can't help but think of inexorability of, you know, time and decay and stuff, and that makes me think that someday I'll be dead and that when that happens, this blog will actually be updated less often than it is now. Think about that.

But that can't happen, according to this theory of 2005 Nationals-related immortality I just now developed, as long Cristian Guzman's chubby ass is still around, so hey -- $16 million? That's a damn bargain for keeping me alive and the Distinguished Senators content coming at such a frantic pace.

1 comment:

Chris Needham said...

Oh, how I've missed that photo.