I Knew It!

I have long suspected that my thoughts were being monitored, read, indexed, and catalogued. What could I do? The accepted method for preventing this is the use of tin foil, and I could have wrapped my trademark cowboy hat in it. But when the integrity of the inside of my brain comes into conflict with fashion, fashion wins. Obviously.

So I left my thoughts unprotected, unlike my legs, which were protected by stylish leather chaps, but very much like my ass, which was unprotected by stylish leather chaps.

I was therefore relieved to find out that my thoughts were being tracked not by the government - not even by a government - but by some website that distilled them into column form and was even kind enough to put my name on the result. I think that kind of consideration deserves clicking; maybe even many clickings. Don't you?