O's for the O's, our orange friends up the road
Whose owner, it happens, is a godawful toad
We've got little to boast when it’s time to get hatin'
But as bad as things are, our owner's not Satan
P is for Presidents running around
They get your hopes up, but then Teddy falls down
It’s a good thing they’re there and a good thing they run
It’s the only time Nats fans see something that’s fun
Thanks to FromOldBooks for the letters, thanks to George Washington for being the first president and having the dignity not to reenact sausage races, and special thanks to North Carolina for coming up with the idea of putting vinegar on pork shoulders.