Bryce Harper hit a homer and then wore a funny hat. Max Scherzer was pretty good, aside from an apparent desire to match the Nats offense dinger for dinger. Daniel Murphy won the game all by himself without subjecting us to any silly-ass walkup music.
There's no way this doesn't wind up being the high point of the entire season, Murphy-wise.
There was a fair amount of dumbassery, even with Murphy's entrance on mute. Rendon got picked off right before a home run. Even before they handed the Braves a run, you got a bad feeling from the bullpen – they had the look of a dog who's going to eat your food the minute you turn your back.
|The dog represents pitchers who aren't Max Scherzer. The turkey represents giving up a run, I guess.|
The really worrying thing – more worrying than "What the hell are we going to do when the starter doesn't go seven innings? – is that Ben Revere, our brand new center fielder, couldn't even make it four innings before he hurt a rib and had to be entrusted to the bloody clutches of the medical staff.
Their office is not a place that you're guaranteed to make it out of.
|Ben Revere checks in with the trainer. "You have ptomaine poisoning on your tongue. You need a bad operation."|