Tuesday, October 19, 2004

It's Divine's Birthday! Celebrate As You Will.

Things are proceeding apace, and I suggest that if you haven't started gloating in the direction of any non-believers you may have run into, start now. Tony Tavares, one of approximately one employees of our beloved home team, is taking care of the important stuff first.
Major League Baseball's new Washington franchise wants to start selling tickets for the 2005 season in mid to late November, team president Tony Tavares said yesterday.
...
Mr. Tavares is in "advanced negotiations" with both Ticketmaster and Tickets.com to become the team's ticket distributor, with a final choice expected in the next few days. Other key parts of the ticketing infrastructure, such as setting up a sales office and hiring a box-office manager, also are close to being finalized, he said.
"This is still a guess, but I would say we're looking at the 15th of November or something toward the end of November [to begin selling tickets]," said Mr. Tavares, who arrived in town last week from Montreal and is working out of the Washington Hilton.
But what if you're a serious high-roller, and mere tickets aren't enough for you? Well, call up Bud and put in an offer.
We've gone crazy and we're slashing prices!!!! Major League Baseball announced today it has begun the preliminary process that will lead to the sale of the Washington Baseball franchise. Expressions of interest and requests for application materials should be made by contacting: Thomas J. Ostertag, Senior Vice President for ignoring RICO and General Counsel, Major League Baseball, at dcbaseball@mlb.com, or at 245 Park Avenue, New York, New York 10167, or by calling 212 931-7855, or by going on E-Bay. Requests should be made by November 1, 2004.
I've already put together my bid, and let me assure you that it's well into the three figure range. My lawyers advise not to say if those figures include cents.

A ringing blow has been struck in the team name war. Recently, Gerald Ensley of the Tallahassee Democrat and Eric at Off Wing Opinion have made the case that the Expos should be renamed the Grays. Both put forward cogent, convincing arguments, but they pale in comparison to the tacit endorsement of Elgin, leader of the Lil Saints Crew, in You Got Served. It's a fine film, perhaps the third best breakdancing movie I've seen, and it climaxes in a $50,000 dance-off, which is as rad as it sounds. Even radder when you learn that the winner gets to appear in a Lil Kim video. What sort of hat does Elgin (played capably by Marques Houston of Goodburger fame) choose to rock while he's dishing out a heapin' helpin' of servin' to those move-stealing Orange County bastards? Homestead Grays. Debate's over.

3 comments:

WFY said...

Hmmm, perhaps we should combine our bids. Together, we might make it to four figures. Anybody else want in?

Anonymous said...

I'm in.

I've got some Portland money coming my way.

Bijan C. Bayne said...

Shoot, I'm game. The more bid$, the more nonsensical it looks that the game stayed away this long. Just lemme call my bookie and place a wager against the curse-ridden Crimson Hose.