A source close to the situation said while the Nationals have talked to the Cubs, they are not willing to give up young players or take on Sosa's salary, which is $35 million for the next two seasons. The source added that Washington's top priority is acquiring a starting pitcher.Essentially, Bowden is making public that the fact that he would happily accept Sosa if he doesn't have to pay anything or give anyone up. I'm sure he'd be willing to trade Jamey Carroll for Albert Pujols, too, and that trade idea is just about as realistic. So, in conclusion, nice job getting your name in the papers again, Bodes. You're doing a bang-up job.Great Moments in Sports Journalism with Dayn Perry!
"The Nationals are not trading for Sosa unless the Cubs are willing to pay the entire salary," the source said. "The team will not trade its young players for Sosa."
No doubt Dayn was sitting around wondering, "how could I make this week's celebrity-humping fantasy just a little bit creepier? I know, I'll make it kinda racial! If I keep this up, I'll be a gag-writer for Tom Arnold in no time!"
9. Imaginary girlfriend of the week
Why, it's Eva Mendes! She's among the fetching harem members of an East L.A. street gang. I lead the hardscrabble but outrageously wealthy O.C. Gringo Kings out of my Mission Viejo estate. It's forbidden love, but our passion, which is intense, carnal and somewhat filthy, will not abide our being apart for very long. We make love to the throbbing Tejano beats of the barrio. I adore her for her swarthy charms, nasty inclinations and tamale skills. She adores my money. It works until it no longer works, at which point I move on to something British and uncomplicated. Like Scary Spice.