Monday, April 11, 2005

A Day in the Hamptons

That was lame. Anyway, lineups for that ass:

US
Wilkerson, CF
Johnson, 1B
Vidro, 2B
Guillen, RF
Castilla, 3B
Davis, LF
Guzman, SS
Bennett, C
Day, P

THEM
Furcal, SS
Orr, 2B
C. Jones, 3B
A. Jones, CF
LaRoche, 1B
Jordan, LF
Mondesi, RF
Perez, C
Hampton, P

Davis is in against the lefty; Frank uses Johnson over Baerga again, which is good. Bennett finally gets a start. The Braves are a having a hard time with injuries; Marcus Giles is out (good for Nats Fan Ryan, bad for Spectator Ryan), as is Johnny Estrada. Enjoy.

119 comments:

Ryan said...

Those bastards blacked out TBS! Anyone know what's up with Mel Proctor?

Trapper John said...

Re: 1B -- do you really fear that Frobby might start Beergut over Johnson?

Since I'm in Detroit for business, I'm watching TBS. That's quality broadcasting.

Ryan said...

Well, he started Cordero against a lefty, and Baerga's Cordero's replacement, so I figured there's a possibility.

Jose Vidro runs like a 60 year old.

Trapper John said...

Yeah, but Vidro is Secretariat compared to Beergut.

Ryan said...

I guess a real CF wouldn't have been able to hold Orr to two bases there.

Ryan said...

ROCK!

Trapper John said...

Nice toss by Guzzie, and a clutch tag for Bennett. If he misses that tag, I'm bitching about Schneider getting the night off.

Ryan said...

Damn, these MASN broadcasts are raggedy. The little base thing in the corner still has a man on third.

Ryan said...

I miss Jon Rauch.

Chris Needham said...

When Guzman uncorked that throw, I was yelling at the TV. I think it was the wrong decision, but it worked out just the same.

Wilkerson did ok to get to those balls, and I don't think a speedier CF would've caught them, but they definitely showed the limits of what he can do. (Compare him to Andruw, assuming we can get the ball to the OF that far.)

And do you suppose the grounds crew is dragging the warning track now and replacing any divots?

Trapper John said...

Right now, I'm hoping that all that talk during spring training about Day picking up after the first two innings is true.

These TBS broadcasts are flawless.

Ryan said...

Not to belabor the obvious, but good D. I just hope Blogger holds up through this game.

Basil said...

You'll never guess. Here in sleepy Richmond, we can't get the damned game!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not talking about the local DC crap. I'm talking about TBS. It's blacked out. Never used to happen before.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Ryan said...

That is some bullshit. You're not missing much so far, if that makes you feel any better.

Chris Needham said...

Jesus, this team is brutal offensively.

Basil said...

Yeah, I know, Ryan. I'm listening, though not happily. I swear, like Mike Tyson, I'd eat Selig's children, if not for the fact that it would involve The Ugly Heiress, Wendy Selig-Prieb.

Ryan said...

If this keeps up, I'm watching rasslin.

Basil said...

Off-topic: Did you know that Pat Burrell is on pace for 350 RBIs?

Ryan said...

Speaking of listening, I declare that the radio guys are way better than the TV guys. Who's with me?

Chris Needham said...

I like Kenny Albert, but Darling's eh... I think I've got a post lined up about that later... if I remember.

Basil said...

Better than Mel Proctor? I guess I'm just a Proctor fan, because I can't imagine these guys being better than him. Proctor + Darling (if the reviews are correct)---I guess I could see that.

Are we ever going to score a run?

Ryan said...

Yeah, Darling sucks. And what's up with his accent? He's from Hawaii, but that accent veers close to Canada.

Ryan said...

Basil - recent events say "no."

Basil said...

I like Kenny Albert,

Eh?

I knew someone out there liked him, but I never met that person.

Albert is as boring as he is ugly. And that's really saying something.

Ryan said...

Damn, Basil! It's not Kenny's fault TBS is blacked out! (I agree with you, btw)

Trapper John said...

The radio guys are better than Darling Mel, but are still raw. They average a mistake an inning.

We are utterly incapable of hitting a baseball outside of the infield.

Basil said...

Yeah, I'm really surly right now. I met as well go all the way and start drinking. Speaking of which . . .

Ryan said...

Castilla: "0 for 1, groundout."
Kenny: "Castilla flied out to deep center."
What the hell's going on here, people?

Chris Needham said...

I'd like just one of our offensive innings to last longer than a horny 14-year old at the Gold Club.

Ryan said...

Someone's got strip joints on the mind, and it's not guy getting married in a week . . .

Basil said...

Well, at least when the Nats are playing, the game isn't going to last long. Until Osuna comes in, that is.

This is pathetic. At least Zach Day is a potent hitter.

Chris Needham said...

Andruw inspires me.

Basil said...

A week? Methinks the strip clubs will come soon enough.

The radio guy's throat is clogged, and now he sounds like Skip Caray.

Basil said...

Hey, who wants to sex the Mutumbo?

Trapper John: I like the "beergut."

Ryan said...

Vinny is hot out there! He gets one hit, and he's NotD.

Basil said...

Nice play by Castilla.

Radio guy cites his "experience." F-Robby vindicated!

Chris Needham said...

Mondesi's a righty... so where the hell was Davis playing on that one?

Basil said...

. . . not only that, but A-Dub can say, "Suck it!" again. ;-)

Basil said...

Game's over. This team can't kick a field goal.

Chris Needham said...

It was a nice play. Even though it pains me to type that!

Bastard should've gotten the DP tho ;)

Chris Needham said...

I'd say game over too, but we ARE facing Mike Effing Hampton.

Ryan said...

Mike Hampton, who's going to hit a triple at some point.

Ryan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Basil said...

On the plus side, I like the bumper music used in the radio broadcasts.

Trapper John said...

The only way I see us even tying this is if proven hitter Zach Day begins an inning by slapping out another banjo single, Wilky awakens from his slumber and gets on base, and Guillen sends 'em home after Vidro and Nick strike out.

It could happen.

Basil said...

Guzman up; this'll be good.

Hey, a grounder! Throw across in time! Guzman out on one pitch!

Endy lives!

Chris Needham said...

Alright... so Thursday night when you're listening to the game, make sure to keep an ear out for the big, bellowing voice from the upperdeck booing the living piss out of Osuna and Guzman when they're introduced.

Brian said...

for the love of all that is good, could Cristian Guzman NOT SWING AT THE FRIGGIN FIRST PITCH

Ryan said...

Woo Braves! That's right, I'm selling out and Atlanta's buying.

Chris Needham said...

Alright... add Zach Day to my boo list.

Screw you Zach. Is it too late to trade his carcass for Wily Mo? Damn, I was dumb.

Ryan said...

Somebody (Click? Sickels?) said it would Livan to get Wily Mo. Forget that.

Ryan said...

"take Livan," obviously.

Basil said...

Game over, man. Game over.

Basil said...

Hell, I'd trade Zach Day for Willy Lohman at this point.

Chris Needham said...

At least I can take pleasure in that it looks like he shit his pants. Small victories...

Brian said...

Ron Darling stinks ... that is all

Ryan said...

Just think in five years he'll be shaving.

Brian said...

when did Osuna get put in the game?

Chris Needham said...

FUCK YOU ZACH!

You better double switch here you senile old bastard

Ryan said...

Congratulations, John Patterson.

Basil said...

Andruw Jones's face looks really big on the Yahoo! picture. I think he's 'roiding.

Speaking of which . . .

Basil said...

You better double switch here you senile old bastard

Heh.

Announcer: "Now batting, T.J. Tucker, pitcher."

Robinson: "Wha . . . ?"

Brian said...

double switch with Guzman with Carroll, we could only be so lucky

Chris Needham said...

We've got 30 or 40 outfielders on the roster. You're allowed to use more than one.

The only reason it matters is because we're short arms.

I'd imagine that'll be taken care of in the next day or two. Bye bye JJ Davis, you sack of crap.

Basil said...

No double switch, I presume?

Chris Needham said...

And now that I think about it...

Why the hell is Joey Eischen, presumably our lefty setup man coming in the 5th inning of a blowout loss?

Maybe we DO need to get Big Frank a computer. Or at least replace the rocks in his head.

Ryan said...

He doesn't need a computer, dammit! He knew Osuna was bad right after his ERA hit 70 - let's see one of your fancy-ass Moneyball computers figure that out!

Basil said...

Eischen needs the work, obviously. This is only his 5th appearance in this, our 7th game---which puts him on pace for only, what, 120-130 appearances?

Chris Needham said...

Basil.... check your email.

Chris Needham said...

All I know is that this game is on pace to disprove DIPS theory!

Basil said...

I'll give it a shot . . .

Chris Needham said...

Woohoo! Call on the reserves!

Chris Needham said...

I've always wondered what it felt like to be a Pirates fan.

Ryan said...

"The acquisitions of Guillen and Castilla have not only helped the offense . . ."

Not very fucking much, it would appear. Then Albert chimes in with how Guzman was a good signing because he was on a team that went to the players.

Ryan said...

"to the playoffs." I'm as dumb as Bowden.

Chris Needham said...

But not nearly as photogenic, baby!

Ryan said...

I just can't get that much fluff in my hair.

Chris Needham said...

Seriously tho... this is about a bad a stretch as we could've hoped for. And it doesn't really bode well for the fair-weather columnists in this city.

Ryan said...

Yeah, Boswell's going to wonder why Rivera's not hitting.

Maybe they'll all get off Bodes' jock once they see how little power he's actually acquired.

(just as Guillen cranks one)

Ryan said...

Hampton's a stud! And he looks like the bassist who got fired from Queens of the Stone Age.

Trapper John said...

If nothing else, we've got Jose Guillen. Guillen is Guillen, not LoDuca.

Chris Needham said...

I hate JJ Davis. Hate Him.

Ryan said...

Rank your hatred:
Bodes
Guzman
Davis
which lefty reliever you don't like
Castilla
Cordero

Anyone I'm forgetting?

Chris Needham said...

Cordero
...
...
...
...
Guzman
...
...
...
Castilla
...
...
JJ Davis, who's as useful as my appendix.
...
...
Joe Horgan
Bodes

And yeah, there are lots of people I hate. But, we don't have time for the full list.

I'm a bitter, angry, petty young (?) man.

Ryan said...

Bodes is at the bottom? Man. Bowden is Bowden, not Schuerholz.

Trapper John said...

Guzman
Guzman
Davis
Osuna

Ryan said...

Alright, John. Now only Basil needs a picture.

Chris Needham said...

Exactly, he's what he is. He sucks. We knew that going in. Just as I won't blame Patterson for getting hit yesterday, because he shouldn't have been in that situation, the same goes for Bowden. He shouldn't be in his position either.

Now, do we blame Tavares? DePuy? Selig?

Ryan said...

Bowden
Guzman
Guillen
Castilla

It would be very different were Endy still around.

Ryan said...

That's very high-minded of you, Chris. I blame all this on Bob Watson wanting "job security" and a "raise." Greedy bastid.

Trapper John said...

As bush league as MASN is, at least it doesn't feature -- a la TBS -- the "Odor Eaters Fantastic Feat of the Game."

Chris Needham said...

Don't get me started on Bob Watson!

Actually, I much prefer him to Brian Cashman, that sack of crap.

Tonyfuckingwomack???!@?!?

Ryan said...

I would have loved having Watson out here. He's a caretaker type.

That a self portrait, John?

Trapper John said...

No -- Bodes, not I, is the Matador of Shame.

Chris Needham said...

I'm officially demoralized.

Anyone want some opening day tickets?

Ryan said...

Only if you're talking about the Redskins.

Chris Needham said...

Last Sunday's WaPo Style Invitational asked what were the advantages of having baseball back in DC. My favorite:

After watching team suck for 162 games, 16 will be nothing. D. Snyder, Potomac, MD.

Ryan said...

Go Broncos.

Hey, is it Joe Horgan or is it Everlast?

Chris Needham said...

I'm glad we're burning through our primary and secondary lefty setup men!

Osuna's fat ass should be out there mopping this game up like it was the floor of a Times Square nudie booth. (Just for you Ryan)

Trapper John said...

Oh dear God -- just get Osuna out there!

Ryan said...

Take that, you scrappy little bitch!

Chris Needham said...

Come to the dark side. Start hating Horgan with me. It's easy.

Trapper John said...

He's making it easy. This is Osunaesque.

Who don't I hate right now?

Ryan said...

I can't hate any man who looks like the guy who changed my life with that Jump Around song. Cause, you know, I'm a Terminator, like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Try to play me out like as if my name was Sega. Brilliant!

Trapper John said...

Correction -- Osuna is Horganesque.

Trapper John said...

Unfortunately, unlike Everlast, Horgan did go out like a punk, bitch.

Chris Needham said...

I really wanna know how Pirates fans do it? I'm used to winning! I haven't had a losing season since '92! This is gonna be hard on me. I've gotta relax! :)

Ryan said...

Hey, Horgan's got more rhymes than the Bible's got Psalms. And furthermore, he'll serve your ass like John McEnroe. Etc.

Ryan said...

Nice shot of Luis Guzman there, Chris. And you're not going to win any friends bitching about how much more fun it is to be a Yankees fan.

Trapper John said...

Things could be worse -- we could've traded for Betemit.

(Then again, Betemit's thinking how glad he is that the Nats didn't trade for him.)

Chris Needham said...

Osuna's ugly, but he's not that ugly!

Ryan said...

I don't know about that. He literally looks like a hog in a Padres cap.

Loaiza vs. Hudson tomorrow. That oughta be fun.

Trapper John said...

Luis Guzman's ugliness is a special thing that oughn't be underestimated.

Ryan said...

JJ DAVIS - NAT OF THE DAY!

Chris Needham said...

I already posted my award for the day. Effing bastard.

Now I know how Bobby Cox and Wil Cordero felt....

Come 'ere, Christina. Come get yur whuppin'.

Trapper John said...

Oog.

Ryan said...

Nice award, Chris. I was thinking that when they showed Day in the dugout after he got pulled that he looked just like George Michael from Arrested Development.

Ryan said...

Dammit, I was trying to find a picture of Snow! All I found was pictures of . . . well, snow.

Chris Needham said...

I can see the George Michael thing. The problem is he has one of those ol' Boston-style colonial-era noses. It's pretty easy to picture him with a musket in his hands and a tricorner hat on his head.