Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Teh Awesome

I do a lot of complaining here at Distinguished Senators. Management, players, writers, Dayn -- all have felt my mighty whine. But I never act like the job of even the very crappiest baseball player is easy. I don't if it's a matter of familiarity breeding contempt or what, but Thomas Boswell does have that tendency. You may remember his hit piece in the wake of Endy's demotion, in which he acted like it ain't no thing to add 60 points to an on-base percentage. His recent column on Ryan Church, which I'm rather late in getting to, has the same defect.

It starts out well enough: after Terrmel Sledge got hurt, Zach Day's injury was the only thing that stopped Jim Bowden from acquiring Juan Encarnacion, and given Ryan Church's subsequent performance, it's worked out great. All true, though I'd add that if that deal had gone down, Boswell would have been chirping something like, "Bodes is teh awesome!!!!! Jaun Incanracion is a proven pwer hitter!!!1!!! Blah blah blah!" You think I'm joking or exaggerating or just a dick, but Boz thinks Bowden can do no wrong -- he's still defending the Guzman signing -- and his columns totally look like that when they get to the editor.

Anyway, Church is great, and I'm not just saying that because I've been shilling for him since Spring Training. Frank's not letting him hit against lefties, but I don't care as long as Marlon Byrd rather than the remains of Jeffrey Hammonds is his platoon partner. So Boz and I are in agreement, at least until he turns to the injury Soul Patch suffered bouncing off the outfield wall in Pittsburgh.
Right now, besides maintaining his form at the plate, Church has only one thing left to prove. And it's a touchy point, especially for a young player. He has the courage to make a play like the wall bash in Pittsburgh. But yesterday, with his name on the lineup card, he didn't play because his chest was still bruised from the collision. "No chance. I can't lift my arm above my shoulder." ...

On that team full of throwbacks, this smooth rookie with so many tools has a place waiting for him. And not a platoon job, either. But, at times like this, when he's hurting, but not actually hurt, he's probably going to have to say, "I'm in there." That is, if he intends to be a full-fledged member of the lodge.

That's right. Boz thinks Church should be out there in left field whether or not he can lift his arm above his shoulder. Suck it up! Rub some dirt in it! Play through the pain! This Church kid is a nice player, but he needs to be more like Pete Rose or Ty Cobb! GRIT!

Maybe it's just me, but I figure the long-term health of a valuable commodity like Church is more important than getting him to play when physically incapable just to get Brian Schneider to like him. You can't accuse Boswell of hypocrisy, though. He wants Church to play with a shoulder injury; Boswell has shown himself perfectly willing to churn out a column while apparently suffering from a concussion.

Need something to do this summer? Will Carroll's looking for an intern!

We're looking for someone that can handle the technical stuff that we simply can't - links on the sidebar, updating our schedules and media appearances, monitoring news and putting up the occasional posts. Tech ability a must, writing ability a major plus.
Tech stuff, writing -- obviously, they're looking for someone to do what Will can't. Note that "making shit up" and "kissing the ass of the guy who makes shit up" aren't part of the job description.

8 comments:

Basil said...

This post could have been entitled "ba-ZING!" You're on fire.

El Gran Color Naranja said...

In his spare time, I hear Boz washes and waxes Bowden's car for him. "Shine your boots for ya, Guv'ner Bowden?" "No today Boz"
"'ight then!"

I've decided (and I may post-erize this) that Boswell is doing one of three things

1) Actively acting as a mouthpiece for the team. For whatever reason thinking that's what's best for the Nats in their first season in DC

2) Taking the opposite side of the fence as Barry. Barry can be the reasonable Nats columnist. Boz will be the sunshine a ho-hos guy. Besides being the complete homer can be fun. He's amusing himself.

3) He's lost his mind. You know how there's a relationship in some people's life that one person seems to be completely blind to the other person faults, even years after it ended? For Boz, it's the Nationals. "She's changed, man! You guys just don't understand how deep our love is!"

Basil said...

Interesting (and comprehensive) theories. I'm sure there's a way to consolidate them into one grand "smitten sportswriter" observation, but I like your form better.

Eric said...

According to BPG, Church is suffering from "a ligament sprain in his right rib cage". I have had this exact same injury and I can tell you it is nasty. I only wish I sustained mine smashing into an outfield wall rather than sneezing at the exact wrong time as I picked up one end of a heavy ass sofa bed.

I lived in abject fear of coughing or sneezing for a full month and the doctors could do zilch, zero, nada. There is NO way he can throw a ball, much less bat.

He took one for the team that game. The team now has to pick up the slack.

MikeMidd said...

Good post - I didn't get Boz' column when I first read it, and I still don't - it just doesn't make sense.

I couldn't figure out if he was working off of some comments from somebody in the clubhouse, expressing a viewpoint that Church is a prima donna or something. But I don't think that's it. I think Boz is just feckin' nuts.

Look forward to his chat tomorrow, Guz is on fire, how could we criticize him?!

Ryan said...

Dammit, Eric! If you want to earn the respect of the lodge, you shake it off! Play through it! Ignore those popping and crunching sounds, zip up the man suit, and game hard!

Mike - that worries a bit. What if he is working off clubhouse talk? If Schneider thinks Church is a wuss, well, screw Schneider.

Basil said...

You haven't posted in a week.

FOR SHAME.

Ryan said...

How dare you commandeer my catchphrase, you shifty schismatic?

FOR SHAME