Wednesday, September 21, 2005

He Is Despised and Rejected of Men

Did you have fun booing Barry Bonds? I hope so, because it's a win-win situation. You, the booer, get to enjoy a warm, tingly feeling of moral superiority and "Ooh, you got buuusted!" grade school schadenfreude. Bonds gets to enjoy a little extra satisfaction when he eviscerates your team and suggests that you can all shut the fuck up now.

He's an inspiration, and here's why: consider Barry's fellow offenders. Rafael Palmeiro decided he couldn't take the heat and packed it up and went home, leaving his team to play "a no-power sea lion who outweighs the Ravens offensive line" at first. Pothead Neanderthal Jason Giambi, after spending 2004 spring training lying about his noticeable weight loss ("No, dude, I was just like, working out, you know? Working out, dude"), gave a mewling, gutless sort-of apology, and he did that only after everybody found out he'd been using the substance he couldn't be bothered to mention while begging for forgiveness.

Barry Bonds, meanwhile, is one of those rare men who really doesn't care what others think of him. He could have taken the easy way out and continued rehabbing his knee over the off-season. Instead, he got back as quickly as possible to rejoin a team all but technically out of the playoff hunt so he could waddle around in left field and scare the hell out of pitchers. He didn't quit like Palmeiro or give a phony apology like Giambi; he took -- welcomed, in fact -- the heat. He has boundless fighting spirit and the kind of drive and determination that sportswriters seem to recognize only when it comes in short infielders who make the appropriate "aw, shucks" noises in front of the press.

So go ahead and boo. Call him Barroid, wave asterisks at him, whatever. You're only making him stronger.

10 comments:

Basil said...

Don't you know that the title will no doubt offend Tony Tavares' fragile sensibilities?

Nice post, by the way.

Brian said...

Why are you defending Bonds? Do you hate America?

Gil Gamesh said...

Barry's back alright: back for Barry.

If Bonds is "one of those rare men who really doesn't care what others think of him," why would something like booing him make him stronger? But you know what, I don't care about Barry either and I'm amazed that anyone still does.

Anything & everything he does -- from his cheesy website to his pursuit of Ruth and Aaron -- just bores me now. He's such a tired act. Kinda like one of those TV shows still on the air when you thought it had faded away years ago.

I'm sure Bonds does care what people think about him. He's just not going to do a damn thing about it if it involves troubling himself in the least.

Anonymous said...

excellent, i was hoping to see something on the giants series here. you guys just won last night because brett tomko sold his soul at age 19 and didn't believe that guy in red when he said "no, really, you'll NEVER win again."

--tk, watching the giants somehow still be in it

D said...

Kornheiser? Shouldn't you be over at Rocket's or something...

Ryan said...

If Bonds is "one of those rare men who really doesn't care what others think of him," why would something like booing him make him stronger?

Bah! I was hoping no one would notice the flaw in my argument. I suppose I should have said, "It doesn't trouble Bonds that he is disliked by a majority of the public. Indeed, it gives him an added incentive to kick everyone's ass."

One could, by the way, take issue with someone who supposedly doesn't care about Bonds bitching about him on teh internet.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I only troubled to bitch about Bonds because I happen to be a regular reader of your site.

Okay, I admit I went a little overboard there expressing my "lack of interest" in Bonds.

I actually wish Bonds had done all he has without the steroid stain. Like I wish he weren't such a tool. Adding those two unfulfilled wishes together, I've adopted the "I don't care about Barry" pose.

Ryan said...

I actually wish Bonds had done all he has without the steroid stain.

Me too. It's worth remembering that he was a first-ballot Hall o' Famer before he (probably) started juicing, though.

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