Mutable, Protean

Maybe I should start handing out an award for self-obliviousness, if that is a word. I already have an award named after Will Carroll, though, and I don't think anyone else deserves that honor. If there were such an award, though, our own Jim Bowden would be in the running. Here's Bodes defending his favorable comparison of young Dutch Zimmerman to Brooks Robinson and Cal Ripken:

"As a general manager," Jim Bowden said, "you're not going to make these comments unless you can back it up. I'm not going to be wrong [about] the player. You don't hear me making these great comments about too many players since I've been here, have you?"

Evidently Bodes doesn't read Distinguished Senators. If he did, he would have recently been reminded of this bit of wishful thinking:

"Cristian Guzman is a critical part of the future of the Washington franchise. You never see a winning team without a good shortstop," Bowden said. "Cristian is only 26 years old. He has been on a division winner the last three years. He has tremendous range. It doesn't show up in statistics, but baseball people know what it means to win baseball games."

I hasten to point out that I heart Dutch, and even though the grown-up me disapproves of his early appearance in the majors, the kid part -- the part that likes the frosted side of Kellog's Frosted Mini Wheats -- is excited to see him. But it doesn't make me think any more of him when Bowden points at his own throbbing brain and proclaims his infallibility.

Time for a JOSE SMASH! update. Back in June, I did a little sifting through Jose Guillen's stats to investigate whether the temperamental, mercurial outfielder hit better when facing the numerous teams that have gotten rid of him at one time or another than he did against those with which he had no beef. He did, as it turns out, slugging 300 points better against the Pirates, Reds, Angels, A's, and Diamondbacks than against everyone else. The trend continues:

Guillen versus former teams:
.333/.410/.688, 9 HR, 16 RBI in 93 ABs

Guillen versus non-former teams:
.297/.346/.478, 15 HR, 54 RBI in 387 ABs

He hits homers almost twice as frequently against his former employers, doubles at a better rate, strikes out less often, and perhaps most interestingly, gets plunked at a higher rate. And for all the complaints about how often Guillen finds a body part in the way of a fastball, the HBPs are keeping his on-base percentage above the league average for outfielders, so I'm all in favor of them. The Pirates, Jose's first team, have felt the worst of his wrath (500/593/1182, 3 2Bs, 4 HR in 22 ABs), while he's only 1 for 9 with a single against Oakland.

Unfortunately, that's it for us. None of the other NL East teams have taken a chance on our impulsive, volatile right fielder, but we can hope that he gets the Phillies confused with the Reds like I always do.