Monday, April 13, 2009

Your BREWPUB Has Evolved Into DISTILLERY

Do you like beer? Go to Denver! As I was strolling the ten blocks from my parking space to Coors Field, every third building was a brewpub. And, based on my limited sampling, a damn good brewpub. There was a even a distillery in there, which I like to think evolved Pokemon-style from a particularly accomplished brewery.

Like this pretty much, except replace "ABRA" with "brewpub" and "KADABRA" with "distillery."

Here's my report from the Rockies home opener: It's just like going to Camden Yard except that things that would be orange in Baltimore are purple. And there's more beer. There you go.

Anyway, I return to find that the Nationals are just awful. But I've reserved that kind of content for over here, where you should go right now. Also, I notice that no one gave me a suggestion on what to call my pieces over there. Don't feel too guilty, though, because it's not too late. Come on, people - I obviously can't come with a name. Help a brother out.

Is "Friends of the Nationals Zoo" too long? Too stupid? Will people not understand the learned allusion and think that I'm referring to the Yankees or Ol' Dirty Bastard? Give til it hurts, dear readers.

Right, so the Nats are lousy. But that is an ephemeral concern. The true Nats fan has his eyes on the future, on the generations to come. Maybe we're terrible now, but we're leaving a foundation for posterity, just as our Founding Fathers shot at Englishmen so we wouldn't have to put up with the Queen's bullshit.

Let's have a look at our latest contribution to the embiggening of baseball in the nation's capital.

WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT?! I'll have more on this later - see the previous sentence for a preview.

3 comments:

Olivier said...

Howbout "Lardass Confidential"?

Just put up a picture of Dimitri and nobody will think the title concerns you!

Nate said...

Would "It's Still Real to Me, Dammit!" be a little too on the nose?

Ryan said...

Hmm. I like the swears, but I think we need more Nats puns.