This Year's Model

Apparently Stephen Strasburg is this year's Dan Haren. You know, the guy in the rotation where you say to yourself, "We should be good enough to get away with starting this guy, right?"

Of course, we weren't good enough to get away with starting Dan Haren in 2013, so last year we didn't have a Dan Haren. This seems to me to be the superior strategy.

What's wrong with Strasburg? Beats me. He seems to be attempting to develop a new form of batting practice where you throw 95 miles an hour fastballs right where Diamondbacks can hit them. If that was his intent, he was successful. His other pitches didn't work, I guess. I didn't stay up for it.

The big question, of course, is injury. Wait, that's not a question. "Is he injured?" There. Matt Williams thinks he isn't, and that makes me think he is. I figure one more start before they realize it, and then we can go back to the good old days of Tanner Roark in the rotation.

We'll be fine either way, but it's really a shame that just as Bryce Harper transforms into Mickey Mantle, Stephen Strasburg turns into Dan Haren.

I wish I had stayed up if only to see the debut of our new lefty set-up man, outfielder Clint Robinson. I love it when position players pitch, especially when they manage to strike out an actual player (in this case, funnypage prettyboy Aaron Hill).

You broke Luann's heart, you son of a bitch. I'm glad you got K'd by an outfielder.

Robinson was winging the fastball up there at about 80, which is so slow that Fangraphs decided that half of them were changeups. That may not be sustainable, but he was getting better results than the guy throwing 95.

Nonsense

Where do you start with this nonsense? This weekend was the perfect opportunity to make up for past mistakes. Did you see the pitching the Marlins were rolling out against us? It was too much for us.

Mat Latos has been a disaster this year, but the Nats managed to knock three full runs off his ERA.

At least you'd heard of Latos. Tom "I Could Have Put Any Name Here and You Wouldn't Know the Difference" Koehler was sporting a 6.75 before he faced the Nats' Attempted Murderers' Row. Now he's at 4.50 - that's good enough for an All Star spot in the late 90s.

We actually adjusted Dan Haren up a little bit, but leaving Haren with a sub-4 ERA isn't something a good team does.

It was all very typical. No one hit, and no one played defense. I saw a bit of the postgame show on Saturday, and Ray Knight was furious. Johnny Holliday is a pro's pro, but I could sense some discomfort from the other side of the desk. "Do I hit the button?" he wondered, assuming there's some kind of "go to commercial in case Ray Knight melts down" button.

Knight was pointing out that the hitters weren't making any adjustments; just going up there and having the same crappy at bats over and over. That sure sounds like a coaching problem, and it sure sounds like we should kill an admiral.

Ray Knight's pissed, Stephen Strasburg's pissed, and I'm pissed. I just checked to see if we have a game tonight, and I was actually disappointed that we do. I need a day off. I thought this was supposed to be fun.

Last place. Tied with the Phillies.