Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Your Pun-Free Lineups

Nats:
Wilkerson, LF
Carroll, 3B
Vidro, 2B
Guillen, RF
Johnson, 1B
Church, CF
Guzman, SS
Schneider, C
Loaiza, P

Braves:
Furcal, SS
Orr, 2B
C. Jones, 3B
A. Jones, CF
Estrada, C
Franco, 1B
Jordan, LF
Mondesi, RF
Hudson, P

I guess Frank saw Andruw Jones in center last night and decided he couldn't take any more of Wilkerson out there, so Church gets his first crack at it. Carroll's a slap-hitter type, so we could be seeing some hittin-n-runnin. I guess Castilla's just getting an old man day off. I don't know how much of the game I'll be around for, but have fun.

129 comments:

Basil said...

Just want to let you know that, for every Nats batter to put it into play before the first ball is called, I'll be taking a drink. I fully expect be buzzed by 7:36 and to die of alcohol poisoning sometime thereafter. Now, that's taking one for the team!

If I live, I might add one of those picture thingies. How do you do so?

Chris Needham said...

You've gotta edit your profile. Just find something (try google image search) and add the link.


The over/under on Hudson's allowed hits is 3.5.

Ryan said...

You'd better get on this quick, before you get loaded and post a picture of your ass or something.

Anyway, go to your blogger profile and edit it. Find a picture you like, right clock on it, copy image profile, then control+v it into the photo url field. That do it?

Yuda said...

So that was, what, two drinks?

Chris Needham said...

Jesus... They have two outs before I can lug my fat ass out to the couch. Pathetic.

They're swinging like me at the batting cage!

Ryan said...

The O's are already down 2-1 to TB. That make anyone feel better?

Yuda said...

So I think watching this team hit against real pitchers puts an exclamation point onto just how bad the Phillies' pitching staff is.

Chris Needham said...

Nah. I don't have complete hatred of the Blowrioles.

Chris Needham said...

I changed my profile just for Basil.

Ryan said...

Or how small the park is.

Who's the dame, Chris?

Chris Needham said...

That's Basil's favorite Congresswoman, Stephanie Herseth.

He's jealous that I met with her today.

Chris Needham said...

The Phillies are handling the Marlins pretty effectively. And the Marlins torched us!

Yuda said...

I saw the Ragin' Cajun James Carville eating lunch in Old Town today, myself.

Yuda said...

My wife says I have to come eat dinner now.

I'll be back a bit later.

Chris Needham said...

Damn emotionally needy wives

WFY said...

I'm glad Wilkerson is in LF, he's hard to watch in CF, even when he getst the out.

Basil said...

I'm back and I'm getting a little woosy. I don't know if it's the quick outs or Rep. Herseth. (Rrrrrowrrr.)

Anyway, I figured Cristian Guzman emerging from an outhouse just about says it all.

Very nice, btw, Ryan!

Brian said...

Cristian Guzman batting under .200 against a pitcher ... go figure

Brian said...

Where's Annie Wilkes? We need to hobble Guzman to keep him out of the lineup.

Chris Needham said...

We actually got a hit there. That was impressive.

Is this the inning Loaiza turns back into a pumpkin?

Brian said...

Chris - I'll give Loaiza until the 5th until his meltdown

Chris Needham said...

This team is teaching me to expect the worst. You're never disappointed that way.

Brian said...

What accent does Darling have? I can't place it.

Chris Needham said...

Nice play by Guillen. But he practically was playing him on the line anyway.

WFY said...

Darling is Hawaiian, but it has been so long since I watched Magnum P.I., so I can't say whether he sounds Hawaiian.

Chris Needham said...

He was born in HI, but went to school in CT. So who knows?

Brian said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brian said...

Andruw Jones hitting the CF wall did not sound good

Chris Needham said...

That was about as bad a misjugement I've seen Andruw make. He started half jogging for it, then threw it into full speed, then came to a complete stop. Weird.

Ryan said...

I'm back, momentarily. Chris, is that Skeletor?

This O's/Rays game is the boredest I've ever been. At least Buck Martinez is bleating.

WFY said...

A lead!

Ryan said...

A groundout!

Chris Needham said...

Is there anything prettier than a gapper like that?

Ryan said...

Chris, there's your point about plate discipline. NJ didn't draw a walk, but he damn sure waited for a pitch he liked.

Chris Needham said...

You don't recognize uber-utiltyman Jamey Carroll?

Chris Needham said...

Exactly, Ryan! Hudson's leaving a few of those tailing pitches too close to the heart of the plate. Those are the ones that've been hammered.

Ryan said...

Yeah, but he's awfully skeletal.

Church has a hard time laying off low inside stuff.

Chris Needham said...

Church is still in diapers. It'll come in time.

Basil said...

Catching up . . .

Is a called strike three looking (first at bat) for Guzman a good thing? You wouldn't think it, but it's better then a first pitch groundout. I'm confused . . .

Wilkerson's bat man.

Vidro's pretty good too.

Seeing as the Nats are more patient tonight, I downed a whole bottle of Tequila when Carroll struck out with Wilks on 3rd and 2 outs. Just found the bottle in my trunk today. Thanks for going to Mexico and bringing back crap, Dad!

Sammy just crused one in TB. The Mets pity-party can continue, b/c Kazmir is pitching right now.

Chris Needham said...

I caught the tail end of that... was Orr's hit, a Vidro Ole play?

Cameron said...

nah, Vidro dove for it, but a more mobile 2nd baseman would have had it, I think

Chris Needham said...

Thanks... his defense really worries me. he better keep cranking out the homers then!

Basil said...

How slow does Vidro look this year? Is he still a legit 2B? If not, we've got a problem.

Ryan said...

Hey, how do you do the thing where the letters are crossed out? I was going to do a "Past a diving Jeter/Vidro" gag.

Chris Needham said...

(strike) but it doesn't work in comments.



How 'bout past a standing Guzman?

Basil said...

Oh, I know that! (Just to be sure, though, Gumby better field it.)

Basil said...

Fastest gun in the west . . .

Chris Needham said...

Truthfully, he wasn't a good 2B the last few years. His defensive numbers have been pretty poor.

When you go Saturday night, watch... he heads straight back on groundballs... he never goes laterally or diagonally in. His first step is always back.

Ryan said...

Hey, they're showing Star Wars on channel 20. Is Greedo going to shoot first?

Basil said...

Will do, Chris.

Yeah, I know his defensive record is not historically great, but I'm just wondering what the "tipping point" (CLICHE!) will be there. Of course, he can't do third, either, for Vinny-related reasons.

Damn, it's tied. Game over. ;-)

Chris Needham said...

Unfortunately, he does! Damn POS Lucas.

Basil said...

Is Greedo going to shoot first?

Ha!

Cameron said...

I'm sick and tired of this first pitch swinging crap

Chris Needham said...

Seriously... they need to institute the same rule I use when I'm playing computer baseball games... I won't let myself swing until I get at least one strike. It's brutal.

Basil said...

So is my liver, Cameron.

WFY said...

Anybody get an e-mail from someone claiming to be the publisher of "The Ultimate Washington Baseball Trivia Book"?

Chris Needham said...

Is that a TaunTaun? Or however it's spelled.

Yeah, we're dorks.

Ryan said...

He sent me the book, Wm. It looks pretty interesting. I'ma take it on my honeymoon.

Chris Needham said...

Nope! You guys get all the good emails. I feel left out! ;)

Basil said...

Yeah, I did, WFY. I figured, what the hell, I'll review his book.

Ryan said...

IT'S A TRAP!

Chris Needham said...

It's a trap!

Sorry....

Chris Needham said...

I never realized how similarly looking the Elephant Man and Admiral Ackbar are!

Ryan said...

Admiral Ackbar's my second favorite character. My favorite's coming in a second.

Basil said...

Hell yeah, it's a Tauntaun! When I was in high school, I could even do its "voice."

I figure, hell, I'm not into any of that crap: LOTR, comic books, Star Trek, you name it. But I grew up on Star Wars, and damn, even if the prequels suck, I'm not ashamed that I grew up on Star Wars . . .

Ryan said...

BTW, what's happening in the game? My gf's watching a video for school, so no game for me.

Basil said...

Baseball Primer just exploded, Ryan.

Get a Piazza pic now!

Ryan said...

Yes! Pseudo-Chinese Milennium Falcon copilot Nien Nunb! Lucas at his ethnically sensitive best.

Chris Needham said...

Nien Num! (SP?)

Basil said...

That guy really is the shit, Ryan.

We're up 26-1, btw. . .

Basil said...

You know that guy was just speaking his language? That's what some guy said on the commentaries for the DVD.

Ryan said...

Here's my favorite Nien quote: "Mbmbldjlkngblg!"
Lando: "You said it, buddy!"

Ryan said...

What language? "Asian"?

Chris Needham said...

Mongolian? Mongolese? Mongarian?

Basil said...

The LF is Jordan. The RF is Capt. AWOL. The 2B is some Canadian dude. The 1B is older than Moses.

But yet Bobby Cox always wins . . .

Basil said...

Nah, some African dialect.

You guys wanna meet at Tosche Station later? We can pick up some power converters!

Chris Needham said...

Not only is he a Canuck, the bastard wasn't even drafted.

And their SS is a habitually drunk.

Chris Needham said...

Are you listening on the radio, Ryan? It's the FM, so it actually comes in.

Basil said...

BTW, Chris, that Ball State sports announcer was, well, incredible.

Chris Needham said...

I really feel bad about laughing at that, but I just can't help it!

Basil said...

Their 3B likes the Hooters girls, too. Or maybe that was Jeff Gordon. Or both. I can't recall.

Orr's not a bad player, by the way. I saw him a little bit last summer. He can hit a little, and he hustles. He's like Tony Graffanino, but with desire.

Ryan said...

Nah, I have to help watch the video. It's about Justinian, and I'm nitpicking.

Here comes the leader of the Rebel Alliance . . . Enya!

Chris Needham said...

Looks like Joan Allen

Ryan said...

Good call.

Basil said...

Mon Mothma. First name? Last name? Both names?

Justinian? Wow. Really into the Byzantine Empire, she is?

Chris Needham said...

Now that we've scared off the three people who were atually interested in talking about the game....


I figured out who Darling sounds like....

Mitch Albom.

Basil said...

Keep hitting, Vidro.

Basil said...

I thought Dave was just about to proposition Charlie there. "Million dollar idea." Getting "outed."

Ryan said...

You mean he's a sappy fraud? I don't like the guy, but geez.

She's showing it to her Latin classes tomorrow. Nap time, you know?

Chris Needham said...

Have you heard about Mitcheyboy's latest trouble?

Basil said...

Mitch Albom just got suspended, by the way.

Ryan, is your wife-to-be a high school teacher? (I'm using my brilliant mind to deduct that.)

Ryan said...

Yep. Ask me what she teaches (even though you already know).

Chris Needham said...

Short version...

He wrote a tear-jerking Sunday column about exMSU players in the NBA going to the final four bc they love MSU so much. Rah rah and all that crap.

Turns out, he wrote it Friday... and they weren't at the game:
http://www.freep.com/sports/albom/calletter8e_20050408.htm

Basil said...

I feel bad about driving away the baseball fans, actually. It seems like I'll say something stupid, and invariably Yuda will start a sentence with "Getting back on topic . . . " He seems like a hell of a guy, so maybe I should take his advice. ;-)

Chris Needham said...

Phys Ed?

Ryan said...

You're ruining my joke, Chris.

Basil said...

So that's what happened to Albom. I read a vague version of it in the Richmond paper, but it didn't sound like anything at all.

Past a diving Vidro! (Replace "Jeter with "Vidro," apparently.)

Chris Needham said...

Sorry then..
sooo

What's she teach Ryan?

And...

How hot IS it?

Chris Needham said...

Alright... we're about the point where it's going to be one batter too many. C'mon Frank. Wake up.

Basil said...

You stole my answer, Chris!

Ryan said...

What's she teach? Idiots! Hey, thank you.

Is Stevie pumpkinifying?

Basil said...

"I think we're in trouble."

"The hyperdrive is in trouble."

"We're in trouble."

70 pitches, but Loaiza is spent? Oh yeah, that's right. He just sucks.

Chris Needham said...

His control's noticeably slipped just a lil bit. Nothing to get toooo worried about yet, I think. Still, I'd like to have someone loosening.

Basil said...

I mean, "the hyperdrive is damaged."

Whatever.

Chris Needham said...

It's pretty sad when you're ready to give up when the other team scores 3

Ryan said...

You mean like Mitch Albom's journalistic standards? Topical!

Basil said...

"Nothing to get worried about."

Stay suspended, Mitch. ;-)

Basil said...

I think F-Robby used to dive with Dangerfield on the boardwalk in Atlantic CIty, Ryan.

Basil said...

I'm going to make a bold prediction, bolder than when I predicted the perfect game last week.

It will be reasonably close for another 20 minutes, and then the Braves'll crush us, and we'll lose by eight.

Ryan said...

I hate Chipper Jones.

Chris Needham said...

We can get two here, right? Right? Please for the love of God!

Ryan said...

If Cyril and Methodius can convert the heathen Slavs, anything's possible!

WFY said...

I think I may have to start watching the game with the sound turned down and radio turned up, Charlie and Dave are better than Ron.

Basil said...

So, wait a minute: we've got a team here? Since when?

Ryan said...

Once again we need a field goal.

Basil said...

Thought Soul Patch had it!

Chris Needham said...

I want to like Ron. But I just can't listen to him for too long.

You can see the thought processes churning in his lil fluffy head, but they're not coming out of his mouth in the right sequence sometimes.

I'm the same way... my brain usually works faster than my mouth, and I quickly lose track of what I'm saying. (Some would say this applies to my writing too!)

But, I'm not broadcasting a ML team either...

Basil said...

It's not any harder than reading the Ball State sports . .

Basil said...

On the plus side here, at least the games are short. This might be a two-hour game if Atlanta just decides it doesn't need to score again.

Ryan said...

Florida's about to beat Philly again. That's a nifty team, and Cabrera hit another one. O's and Rays are tied, and Brian Roberts hit his fourth.

Chris Needham said...

This is another case where I wonder why Frank's leaving Loaiza in. You could see him starting to tire last inning.

He just seems mortified about doing a double switch. Or pinch hitting for a reliever.

Basil said...

Roberts is so juiced.

So is Julio Franco, for that matter.

Ryan said...

I've heard serious rumors about Jay Gibbons and the Vitamin S. Brian Roberts is just focusing his scrappiness and grit.

Basil said...

I don't think so; I like Jay Gibbons. Players you like don't do 'roids. ;-)

Chris Needham said...

Gibbons, on top of being hideously ugly, has that weird body shape. Small legs, huge shoulders and a triangle tapering down to a narrow waist.

Chris Needham said...

Good job getting outta that one.

At least Frank had relievers going.

Not a bad performance by SteveLo

Basil said...

Gibbons is truly fugly, yes. :-)

Last season, I theorized a thing between him and CcSn's Kelli Johnson, though. They seemed to click during postgame interviews, you know.

Chris Needham said...

It's awfully lonely down there in Midlothian, huh?

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