I'm right in my middle of my own, extended version of the All-Star Break. I call it the All-Scotch Break. The concept is that I reenact all the fun-filled events of the All-Star Break, but with Scotch instead of baseball. I started with Scotch Shot Derby, in which I made the mistake of representing my native Venezuela. I don't think it makes me any less a man that I couldn't get through the first batter of the first round -- it turns out Bobby Abreu is better at hitting batting practice homers than I am at downing whisky. I woke up a couple days later to discover that I had missed the actual game, meaning that I'd have to postpone the All-Scotch Game, in which the 25 best single malts take on the 25 best blends. I also discovered that Jim Bowden, perhaps in the course of a Scotch Shot Derby of his own, had acquired Preston Wilson from the Rockies. Don't ask me why Bodes hates Ryan Church or why he thinks "older and more expensive" means "better." That's why he's Bodes. Yes, I know Preston hit a homer in his first appearance as a Nat, but I'm not letting that change my opinion of the trade because I'm not an idiot.
Anyway, I'm going to Ocean City to continue the All-Scotch Break. The next events are the AAA All-Star Game (the AAA All-Scotch Game? Getting drunk at a Delmarva Shorebirds game) and the Futures Game, which you probably didn't watch on Sunday. My version of the Futures Game consists of buying beer for minors. I'll be back on Wednesday.