Washington Nationals General Manager Jim Bowden is scheduled to meet with the Boston Red Sox to discuss their vacant general manager's position either tomorrow or Thursday, the Boston Globe and Boston Herald reported from the GM meetings in Indian Wells, Calif., for today's editions.Looks like someone in Boston's been reading Curly W! Since the idea of swapping general managers with the Red Sox gives the kind of all-over jingly tingles I usually get from heartwarming pictures of Japanese pro wrestlers getting ready to go fishing with their daughters, I'm going to do whatever I can to convince the Sox that this is a good idea.
Lawrence "Lucky" Lucchino, President
Boston Red Sox
4 Yawkey Way
Boston, MA 02215
Dear Mr. Lucchino,
Jim Bowden is a hella rad general manager. He appreciates the value of veteran leadership and knows what a franchise shortstop looks like (chubby). He dresses for success and hardly ever makes inappropriate analogies to terrorist atrocities anymore. In fact, if you take Bodes (that's what he likes to be called) away from us and we're forced to replace him with some snot-nosed intern boy, it would mean the death of the promising Washington Nationals, so please don't. I beg you -- don't offer him a raise and a cloth of gold track suit and all the toolsy outfielders he can stand and deprive our nation's capital of its young monument to baseball genius. And please don't throw me in that briar patch, Mr. Lucchino!
Above: the photographic equivalent of us getting Theo Epstein and the Red Sox getting Bodes. Please don't read this part, Mr. Lucchino.