Spoilers

The Phillies are in town to get their whuppin'. I sound more confident about this than I feel - I'm actually expecting a letdown in this series. The Nationals, who are awesome, dropping a series to a pack of stumblebums like the Phillies would be ironically appropriate, like when Paris killed Achilles. Sorry about the spoilers.

I mean, it has to happen sooner or later. The Nats aren't going to win every series for the rest of the year.

Probably.

The Phillies somehow aren't in last place at the moment (see here for Ruben Amaro's probable reaction to that state of affairs). This is thanks to the Marlins, who responded to their team's struggles by hiring some random hillbilly to be their manager, which only seems to have made it worse.

It occurs to me that new Miami manager Dan Jennings is the Billy Carter of managers. Not in the sense that he has a famous brother, but in the sense that he's a random hillbilly who seems like he'd be up for shilling for questionable alcohol brands.

You probably know this from the Simpsons, but President Jimmy Carter's brother Billy parlayed his reputation as a drunken hayseed into his own brand of beer, Billy Beer. My heroes at Modern Drunkard Magazine report that after Billy Beer went the way of the Zima, Billy lent his celebrity imprimatur to a revolting concoction called Peanut Lolita. Peanut Lolita. If you've ever heard a creepier name for a drink, you made it up yourself and should be in jail.

Billy Carter drinking Peanut Lolita. If anyone knows of any other jobs where you get paid for looking like a dork and drinking straight out the bottle, please let me know where to send my résumé.