Sunday, June 13, 2004

The Name of the 'Spos, Including the Postscript to the Name of the 'Spos

This blog does not exist merely to call Peter Angelos names and mock the Expos' lack of batting prowess (10 shut-outs and counting!). I hope in addition to offer constructive discussion of various issues facing a DC baseball club. The one that has most grabbed my interest (because it requires no actual knowledge) is that of the team's name. Quite a few have been suggested, and I hate almost all of them. Let's have a look, keeping in mind that some have been suggested by no one but me:
Senators
Nationals
Grays
Monuments
Expos
Sexpos
Black Senators
Potomacs
Statesmen
Furies

(NB. There is an unfortunate tendency to resort to the most hackneyed, Capitol Steps-esque gags when this topic arises. I'm not going to waste time talking about such knee-slapping entries as the Lobbyists, Those Fat-Cats in Washington, or the Gob-Stuffed Interns. Unless I just did. Damn.)

Consider the name of this blog an endorsement of the Senators. "Senators" has a long, delicious tradition, from the 1901 squad, led by Boileryard "William" Clarke to a sixth-place finish, to the 1971 version, led to by Ted Williams to a fifth-place finish. In between, the Senators played spoiler to any number of great teams. In 1927, they gave the doughty Murder's Row Yankees a run for their money, coming close to almost winning nearly half their games against the Bombers. 1954 saw the Washington club contribute only 18 of the Indians' record 111 wins.
Just as the Indians have Major League (greatest baseball movie ever made, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Costner), the Senators have Damn Yankees, a musical so awesome that is has a butt-rock supergroup named after it. It would be foolish to throw away all this history. Plus, check out these sweet caps!
By naming the team the Senators, we'll be upholding a time-honored and nifty baseball tradition. Look at the Orioles, for instance (well, not today. Ponson's pitching). All told, there have been five versions of the Baltimore Orioles, one which went on to become the Yankees, proving that irony is more powerful than love. When the unlamented St. Louis Browns moved east in 1954, they took the traditional name of their home. A similar dynamic gave us the Brewers (the first Brewers are now the Orioles. It's like the Julio-Claudian family tree up in here), the Angels (an old PCL team), and the Marlins (a minor league team).
So, in conclusion, there is a right answer to this question, and it's Senators. Anything else would make Walter Johnson roll over in his grave (reportedly located on the grounds of a suburban high school), and make me change the name of the blog.
Next time we'll have a look at some of the other ideas, including the ones I just made up.

2 comments:

DMD said...

I dunno. I've always been partial to "Washington Gridlock" should our area get a new team.

Peter said...

I vote for Washington Furies. And they have to wear face paint.