Thursday, March 10, 2005

Local Content About the Area

The Post is seeing what it wants to see.
A week into their Grapefruit League schedule, the Washington Nationals are beginning to see results in one of their top spring projects: turning center fielder Endy Chavez into a legitimate leadoff hitter. . .
Although he has yet to draw a walk in 12 plate appearances . . .
But it's okay because he's fast, right?

That's about all I've got, so it's time to go to the cheap laffs. The inscrutable, poorly-translated Japanese media isn't following Tomo "Landlord" Ohka around like they do Ichiro or any number of Matsuis, but he still gets some coverage. The best part about this is when that coverage, run through some half-assed translation program, turns into highly evocative poetry.
Pitcher Tomokazu (28) of landlord Nashonalz who aimed at the revival from the right hand neck fracture pitched well, and the exhibition game first starting call and three times were thrown out and pitched well ..one safe hit no lost point 3.. ..the deprivation.. ..San.. ..the shake...
Whoever writes the best pretentious English grad student-style review of "San . . . the shake" wins . . . hell, I don't know, mad props. Unless I feel like sending you an autographed copy of Saving the Pitcher. Speaking of which:
What could make Will Carroll's blog better? It's already got fantastical, H.G. Wells-like rumors and purple prose wholly inadequate for what it's trying to describe. Remarkably, Will has found the one thing that could improve the living work of art that is Will Carroll Presents: more coverage of southeastern Indiana! WCP is moving and to the Tri-County Post-Messenger, American's most hyphenated newspaper. What does this mean? "What you see here won’t change much, outside of some local content about the area, which will give us an interesting balance." Good; local content about the area is my favorite kind of content of about the area. I hope Will keeps talking about fantasy rotisserie baseball and his favorite music songs as well.

3 comments:

Luke Gofannon said...

Another dig at Will "The Thrill" Carroll: my man, you are en fuego!

Ryan said...

There's more coming. He just destroyed the meaning of the word "joke."

Luke Gofannon said...

Yeah, I thought a joke was supposed to be funny, not just stupid and dull. I originally had a slight suspicion that somebody was pulling poor Will's leg with a "job offer," since I couldn't find anything about the Tri-County Post Messenger on the web. Seems Will thinks he was pulling one over on everyone else. Gosh, this is gonna do wonders for his credibility when readers think about checking out his upcoming, magnificently self-overhyped book, "Juice: Or How I'm So Much Smarter Than the Rest of You Sentimental Yahoos." Perfect BP mentality: thinks he's really funny and ironic, but actually just a major league tool.