Monday, March 07, 2005

Some Yalie Stole My Coat Today

Yesterday was Gammons, today is Rosenthal.
The Nationals could replace Endy Chavez in center field, or at least use him in a platoon. Alex Escobar — called "too good to be true" in the early exhibitions by GM Jim Bowden — could alternate with either Chavez or another left-handed hitter, Ryan Church. Terrmel Sledge, the probable fourth outfielder, could move into a starting role if Nick Johnson is injured and Brad Wilkerson moves to first. Church, drawing trade interest from the Royals, has a minor-league option remaining, making it likely he will stay.
A Church sighting! I've criticized Nats management a time or two, but I appreciate that they're unsatisfied with what they have in center. Inning-Endy is fast and hits for a decent average - that would enough for some people. So kudos to Bodes and Frank and whoever is involved in this for realizing that Endy - at least the Endy we've gotten to know over the past few years - shouldn't be leading off or even starting.

Another thing to think about: Gammons made a trade sound likely, and Bowden has mentioned this as well. Rosenthal thinks that the Nats are looking to solve their problems from within. We'll see, I guess. That Rosenthal column also mentions that the Reds are open to trading one of their outfielders, an impressive group that includes Ken Griffey, Adam Dunn, Austin Kearns, and Wily Mo Pena. They want pitching in return. Well, I don't like guys who get hurt all the time, and if Cincinnati believes in the potential of Tony Armas, perhaps something could be worked out. I believe that Bowden his exhibited symptoms of a man-crush on Pena. Give in to desire, Bodes. Between Wilkerson and Guillen is . . . Obsession.

The invaluable William World News has some fun with D.C. sports numerology. This seems like the kind of thing that could start interesting arguments among people more knowledgeable than I. ¡61! is the only number I care about.

And now, a special report:
Dayn Perry: the Road to Recovery
Loyal readers know all about the Dayn Perry saga. How he really pissed me off with a wish that the Nats fail. How my anger manifested itself in knee-slapping, tears running down my face, "get a load of this retard" mockery when I saw the sub-Man Show boobs-and-sarcasm gimmick he was working at FoxSports.com. I like to think I made a difference, and I went so far as to claim that I fixed him. Gone was the Imaginary Girlfriend of the Week, a feature in which Dayn opened the latest issue of Maxim, picked a starlet, and . . . well, you can figure out the rest. It made women shudder and men feel a little better about themselves. Sure, Dayn's "work" still featured the occasional gorilla-suit rape fantasy, but he was getting better. And now, his transformation is nearly complete. Check out this column - nothing. It's mostly about things he doesn't like on TV, and there's nothing in there that inspires pity and fear in the manner of a Greek tragedy. Mainly eye-rolling and yawns. Dayn Perry columns were distinguished by their reliance on flame-baiting and onanism. Now the onanism is gone, the world is a happier place, and when do I get my medal?

1 comment:

Basil said...

I don't know, Ryan.

There's this (No. 5 among the "greatest performances ever"):

1997 — Jennie Garth briefly appears nude in otherwise forgettable film, "My Brother's War."Plus, the operative word of the title is derived from "semen."

MoFo's a sicko.