Does It Come With A Pickle?

Corey Patterson? Why the hell would anyone be pursuing Corey Patterson? Patterson is like an extra arm: if you already have him, you might give some thought as to what use you can get out of him, but you don't go out of your way to make sure you have Corey Patterson. One of the only smart things Jim Bowden has done was get rid of a fast centerfielder who couldn't hit, and, toolsy though Patterson may be, I can't imagine that even Bodes is intrigued enough by this idea to undo one his pitifully few good works.

That might not be all there is to it, though (and big ups to Banks and teh Fed for linking all these links with their links). The Chicago Tribune throws that loveable teddy bear of a non-outfielder, Alfonso Soriano, into the stew. So, Patterson, Todd Walker, and Jerome Williams for Soriano and maybe a spare outfielder or two? I don't like it, but it sounds like something that would have some effect on the roominess of those infamous leather pants. That hypothetical package (the Cubs players, not anything in the pants) features a toolsy outfielder, and second baseman/former Red, and an unreliable pitcher. If this were a platter at a deli, it would be called the Bodes and never ordered by anyone.

Anyway, I'm not going to critique the specifics of a trade proposal that has yet to be proposed and probably never will be, but I will say that as little as I want Soriano on my team (I didn't think anyone could displace Guillen as the least likeable Nat, but here we are), you got to get more for him than the Bodes platter.