Tuesday, January 17, 2006

When?

It's a strange chain that leads to the acceptance of Sammy Sosa as a National. Jim Bowden --> Jim Bowden's kids --> Jose Guillen --> Sammy Sosa. Bowden apparently had some kids. Guillen was acquired because he was good with these kids. And now the Junior GM is giving us input: Sosa is rad!
"I believe Sammy can still play and help us," Guillen said. "He will do anything [manager] Frank [Robinson] will ask him to do. Sammy will fit right in. With the year he had last year, Sammy has a lot to prove, and I think he is going to prove a lot of people wrong.
When Croesus, king of the Lydians, was contemplating an attack on the empire of the Persians, he consulted the Delphic oracle to get Apollo's opinion on the move. The oracle's response was that if Croesus attacked Persia, a great kingdom would be destroyed. Of course, it turned out to be Croesus' kingdom. The moral of the story: Yeah, I'm sure Sosa's going to prove someone wrong. Just not me.

Nationals management is not relying only on the word of anger management class graduate Jose Guillen, if MLB.com's Bill Ladson is any indication. This mailbag and this transcription of a radio appearance give us a glimpse of Bowden's desperate argument: it's not that Sosa sucks, it's that he was in the American League!
Bowden believes that maybe Sosa had a tough time adjusting to American League pitching and needs to be back in familiar surroundings.
I noticed that with the Orioles last year. Sosa would come up to the plate with a look of complete panic in his eyes. "Wait a minute," he seemed to say, "I have already batted once in this juego de beisbol. When does the pitcher bat? WHEEEEEEEEN!?" and then he'd strike out . . . with terror. They play the same game over there, and it's not like Sosa had never seen Mike Timlin or Kevin Millwood before. But the pitcher -- WHEEEEEEEEN?! This makes Sosa sound like a delicate flower of a man having a tea party and feeding little cucumber sandwiches to his stuffed animals. If he's that startled by a 30-year old rule, imagine how freaked out he'll be playing for a team that didn't even exist when he made his eerie journey to the AL.

3 comments:

El Gran Color Naranja said...

Does this mean when he has to face Pedro he's going to shout "He's not supposed to be here!"

Andrew said...

"kind of the Lydian"

Was Cyrus sort of the Persian?

Ryan said...

Andrew's a likeness of the dickface.