Distinguished Senators, the Washington Nationals Blog That Is Great

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Fanfare for the Husky Man

Yuda points out a fitting postscript to my unhinged bitch session about Baseball Prospectus' use of PECOTA, its infallible player projection system. BP today discusses Roger Clemens - it's free, so non-suckers can read it, too. To quote Yuda, "They spend most of the Astros section explaining how and why PECOTA blew its projection for Clemens last year, and then uses this year's projection to explain why the Astros overpaid for him." I can't believe I'm paying for this crap!

Kornheiser didn't make himself any friends today. He's suitably kornholed by several bloggers. Observe:
  • Ball Wonk:Tony Kornheiser graces the Nationals with his valuable attention in today's Post column. In it, he invents a whole new level of condescension previously unknown to science. Call it "hubriscension."
  • Capitol Punishment: He's mailed in in. The hardest-working lazy sports columnist in DC has written a relatively-benign, but still annoying column about the Nats. It's definitely his grumpy old man side coming out.
  • Nationals Inquirer: Before I get to the substance (a bit of a paradoxical concept, considering this post concerns a Kornheiser column) . . .
  • William World News: Sometimes, I wonder why he even writes a column anymore.
That about sums it up. I've always loated Kornheiser's schtick. I can't count the number of times I've heard him say something like, "Who knows what the infield fly rule is, anyway?" then act like something's wrong with you when you actually do know. I can't fathom why, but reasonable people think he's hilarious. I've never gotten it, and I consider his rise to national prominence a further sympton of the near-total uselessness of the mainstream sports media.

I won an award! Chris from Capitol Punishment presented me with the Eric Gregg Award because I heart Livan so damn much (here's some backstory). That got me to thinking about Livan, which is pretty much all I do from when I wake up in the morning to when I put on my futuristic blogging jumpsuit and get to work here. Now, umpire Eric Gregg is a great big fat guy, and Livan is a pretty fat guy (with a disconcertingly non-fat guy head), which I think is an advantage. Think about it: fat guys never actually win, but they always almost win. Whether it's Kingpin or John "Earthquake" Tenta or Aulus Vitellius, who managed several months as emperor before they killed him, the fat guy loses in the end, but generally manages to kick a lot of ass before he goes down. Sure, Hulk Hogan eventually defeated Tenta, but not before the Hulkster had his ribs broken by the massive force of an Earthquake, brother. So if that means our own big fat guy comes in second in Cy Young voting to, say, dreamy Mark Prior, that's good enough for me. The fat guy may not win, but he's not the Big Boss Man either.

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