Distinguished Senators, the Washington Nationals Blog That Is Great

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Essais de Théodicée sur la Groin de Logan

Theodicy is the branch of theology that endeavors to explain the existence of evil in a world governed by a benevolent and all-powerful God. Providence is the idea that God provides for and takes care of us. Sometimes the difference is a matter of perspective.

Nook Logan messed up his right groin (I only have one myself) on Saturday and is probably headed for the disabled list. Rough stuff. Here's a guy who's struggled for years, shuttling from the minors to the majors and back. He finally finds a team desperate enough to give him a chance to be a starter. Just as his dreams are in reach -- WHAM! -- one of his groins fails him. A theologian's rationalizations, I think, would be no comfort to Nook Logan right now.

Consider the Nationals, though. This works better if we pretend that the team is a sentient animal, one that's incapable of taking care of itself. It lives in some kind of open to the public pen, surrounded by slack-jawed yokels watching its every move. Its handlers do their best for it, constructing a shiny new pen and making sure it gets the best diet they can afford. But sometimes things get a little tight, and the Plan just doesn't have room for the top-of-the-line chow in the budget. So they're going to feed it Nook Logan, which at the very least is going to give the Nationals a very severe case of indigestion, the worst it's had since so much money was sunk into that four year's supply of Guzman. Well, Logan's injury, like a bolt from the heavens, may have just saved the Nationals life. That'll make you think and make you grateful, and you're not particulary concerned that some poor fellow just lost a groin.

And that's pretty much how I feel. I'm sure Nook Logan's a nice guy and all, and we're all brothers on Spaceship Earth and all that crap, and I suppose on some kind of philosophical level I'm deeply concerned about his groin. Or, to be more precise, I know I should be deeply concerned about his groin, but I'm not going to lie to myself. Nook Logan can go ahead and schedule a full-on double groinectomy if that means Chris Snelling gets to play every day.

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