Church on Time

We are limping out of Spring Training. Tony Armas has resumed his customary position on the disabled list. Jose Vidro and Vinny Castilla are nursing various ailments. No one's hitting, and the whole team's effort has been called into question by both Frank Robinson and the Post's estimable Barry Svrluga. And it's nothing but bullshit on the TV front:

The Washington Nationals' season-opening game is not certain to be televised in the Washington area, team President Tony Tavares and TV industry executives said yesterday.

Let me go on record as saying that the opener will be on TV, but the fact that baseball has allowed things to go this far without getting a deal done - to say nothing of the lack progress in finding us an owner - just goes to show you that you should never be surprised at the incompetence of Major League Baseball. But one thing, one very important thing, has gone right.

Inning-Endy Chavez is gone! Bowden has finally given up his delusion that Chavez is a worthy lead-off hitter or even major league player, it would appear. Chavez was sent to AAA today along with reliever Gary Majewski and History's Tallest Player, Jon Rauch. But wait, it gets better: who has the honor of replacing Inning-Endy? None other than my third-favorite Nat, a man I've been compaigning for since January 26th, "Soul Patch" Ryan Church!

Robinson indicated that his preference would be to play Church, 26, in center, leaving Wilkerson in left, and keep Terrmel Sledge as the fourth outfielder. Church hit .343 with 17 homers in 347 at-bats with Class AAA Edmonton last year, but just .175 after being recalled to Montreal [No fair- he was sick, you heartless bastards!].

This is fan-frigging-tastic. I thought there was no way Church would even be on the team, much less starting in place of Sledge. Church won't be an all-star, and he's probably not a natural center fielder. But he's too old to need any more seasoning in the minors, he's proven he can hit, and he keeps Chavez and Sledge out of the starting lineup. Assuming Robinson gets his wish of Church starting in center, Bowden has finally, after five months on the job, fixed a hole. Now all he needs is a time machine to go back and fix shortstop and third.