Sunday, May 01, 2005

In Which I Quote from the Works of the Ghostface Killa

I had a damn good time at RFK last night. It all started when I got to the park and found out that lame-ass Zach Day had been replaced by much put-upon Distinguished Senators favorite Tomo "Landlord" Ohka. He lived up to his nonsensical nickname, too. Six innings, no runs, a hustling infield single, and a masterful performance in getting out of a bases-loaded jam caused by his own bad throw to second. Another recipient of my support and a nickname, "SoulPatch" Ryan Church, had a good night as well. Twice he got himself down 0-2 but still managed to do something, chipping in with a single and homer. Nick Johnson was even better with his homer and two walks, one with the bases loaded. I really dislike the Mets, and they looked pretty bad, especially Victor Zambrano. I hope they didn't give up much to get him. HAH!

Yeah, it rained, but even that was my friend. It justified my cheapness, as all the millionaires in the unroofed section in front of me got rained on. Even better, the two rain delays had a lovely sense of timing. The first took Ohka out of the game after six innings, before he could blow it. The second, combined with the hilarious ineptitude of the grounds crew, handed the Nationals the victory before they could blow it. Put it all together with some high drama - two pitches bouncing off of Jose Guillen and Frank getting his cranky ass ejected so he wouldn't miss Matlock - and the free candy bars that guy was giving away outside the Metro station, and it spells fun.

It's actually a lot easier to write about a baseball team in the offseason, I'm learning. You can spend months dissecting the minutiae of team building (George Arias vs. Jared Sandberg - take a side!). These days, though, the closest we get is stuff like Jim Bowden's contract being extended through the season and Jose Guillen's option getting picked up. Neither of these is a surprise, and there's only a little to complain about. The fact that Bowden wasn't already signed through the season is merely an indication that MLB thought they'd be able to find some owners during the season. That's out the window, so Bodes isn't going to be let go before October. The Guillen issue is slightly more troubling. It's only $4 million, and Guillen's a fine player when not annoyed, but Craphonso Needham rightly points out that there's no obvious reason to do this so early in the season. (Digression: Guillen's problems with the Angels started when he got plunked and felt that the team didn't protect him by retaliating. Ohka threw near somebody last night, drawing a warning from the ump, so I wonder if Jose feels protected.)

These two moves, though, have prompted some flawed analysis (yes, I'm looking at you, Marc Sterne). We're a month into the season, and Bowden looks pretty good. Castilla and Guillen have been great, Loiaza's been acceptable, and the team is over .500. But we are a month into the season. Brian Roberts is second in the AL in home runs, the Yankees are playing .400 ball, and Jon Garland is pace to go 32-0. None of these things will be true at the All-Star break, much less at the end of the season, just as Vinny won't be sporting a .347 batting average come June. The point I'm trying to make here is not to make any conclusions yet - a month is too soon. This isn't a sophisticated sabermetric theory or anything; it's just common sense.

Not that anyone cares, but my home computer issues are resolved, so now I can get back to my usual schedule, perfectly described and possibly inspired by occasional Wu-Tang Clan member Cappadonna:
Every evening, I have a by myself meeting
Thinking who's gonna be the next to catch a beating
That about sums it up. Now that I'm able to have my nightly by myself meeting again, prepare for another week of the same old shit from me.

9 comments:

Basil said...

Best Nat of the Day. Ever.

In other news, we just HAVE TO GIVE HAN MORE TIME.

Ryan said...

Lando sounds like me talking about Ryan Church. MORE TIME!

Basil said...

Yeah, I mean without it, we can't get a reading, up or down.

(Lord, I'm such an OT nerd.)

Ryan said...

We'll last a lot longer than we will against that Death Star!

Basil said...

I think we both know what has to come in here, by federal mandate:

IT'S A TRAP! ;-)

Ryan said...

You know what I love most about Nien Nunb? His little leather hat. He looks like he's about to play football in 1922.

Basil said...

Is Nien Mr. Inside or Mr. Outside?

Chris Needham said...

This has to be the stupidest thread I've ever read! And given my recent comment threads, that's saying something.

But, I have no idea why the idea of Mr. Numb as Mr. Outside makes me giggle like a schoolgirl either.

Basil said...

Uh . . .

Are you the biggest idiot ever? ;-)