Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I'm Sorry About the Really Pretentious Bit

You know, I'm not even mad at Pedro anymore. I've reconciled myself to the fact that he can do whatever the hell he wants to us. I mean that in two ways: 1) He's good enough that the Nats are pretty much the Washington Generals as far as he's concerned and 2) MLB sure isn't going to do anything to stop him. But oh well. Pedro really is great, and that's in an amoral -- indeed, Homeric or Beowulfian -- sense. He's good at sports, basically, so it doesn't matter that he's a greasy dickhead. Pedro's better than any three or four Nats you could name, so it's not surprising that this rag-tag band of jack-offs is going to get slapped around every once in a while by someone of that stature.

That doesn't mean I'm not mad at anybody. One of these days, I'm going to compile a top 10 enemies list or something. Peter Angelos is #1, and it'll have Bodes, Selig, and maybe Will Carroll just for old time's sake. But here I will profile the two men most responsible for all this "Don't You Dare Hit a Met with a Pitch, You Little Bitches" nonsense and reveal the further damage they've done to the Nats.


That's right, Frank Robinson. As MLB's director of suspensionation, the erstwhile Cangrejero devised the brilliant policy of automatically suspending a pitcher who throws at a player -- even a Met -- after the umps have issued a warning. Nice job there, Frank. Throw in the whole being a terrible manager thing, and you have a criminal who easily makes the top 10. Oh, and if you're one of the "more like teh BLOWrioles lol!!!" types, I understand that the dude did some pretty impressive stuff in Baltimore a while back.


Don't let the winning smile fool you: Bob Watson is a very bad man. Well, not really, but he succeeded Frank as the discipline guy, so he's the one who pretty much told the Nats that anyone plunking a deserving Met would be getting suspended. Congratulations on preventing Pedro from getting a well-deserved fastball in the jheri curl, Bob.

But that's not the worst thing Watson's done to the Nats. After proving himself a sober, reserved, and effective general manager with the Astros and Yankees, Watson was offered the much-coveted job of interim general manager for the Washington Nationals. He turned it down. A short list of things we can add to Watson's list of offenses: Cristian Guzman, Junior Spivey, leather pants, Alfonso Soriano, sub-literate columns in the DC Examiner, Preston Wilson, that other Watson, Carlos Baerga . . . I could go on.

1 comment:

Daedalus said...

Pedro will get it in the end. Baseball karma is like that. I'm just happy he didn't no-hit the Nats last night. It certainly started out that way.