Thursday, April 13, 2006

Patristic

Baseball Bias column. You know you want to know about the Orioles.

I'm guessing you've already heard about this.
The struggling Washington Nationals optioned outfielder Brandon Watson and backup catcher Wiki Gonzalez to Triple-A New Orleans on Thursday and recalled outfielder Ryan Church and infielder Brendan Harris.
William Blake, despondent over the Mets series, didn't have anything to say, but my old buddy Origen chimed in.
Let no one, then, be persuaded otherwise, nor let anyone deceive himself: Outside of . . . Church, no one is saved; for, if anyone should go out of it, he is guilty of his own death.

I have to disagree with Origen's plea for outfielder orthodoxy. Bringing Church up is the right move, and he shouldn't have spent a day in AAA. But he's not going to save anything. We still haven't had a starter go over six innings, and they've pretty much all been bad to enough to deserve the early hook. We're not scoring, and our hitters -- including one of the only successful ones -- are already demonstrating how ill-equipped they are to deal with RFK's dimensions. Church is an upgrade, but a Band-Aid isn't going to fix a broken neck. I would, however, like Jim Bowden to consider seriously the last part of Origen's take just in case Church gets off to a slow start and a trade or demotion is being considered.

It should be a happy day for me. Not only is my main sacred cow back in the bigs, but so is my back-up sacred calf, Brendan Harris. Will he give Ryan Zimmerman a day off? Will he . . . play shortstop? I doubt it -- he's been languishing in AAA because they don't trust his glove at third or second, so I can't imagine he's being seriously considered to step in where Royce Clayton -- yes, the Royce Clayton -- has faltered. So it beats me what he's doing up here, and given the fact that he hit .333 with a homer in his only nine at-bats last year before being put back on the bus, there's probably not much he can do to keep himself here.

The combination of my natural, Bowden-enhanced cynicism and the fact that ¡Livan! really sucks is making me incapable of enjoying the restoration (however temporary) of Church and Harris to their proper places. I'm serious -- usually when the Nationals embarrass the hell out of themselves, I can maintain a kind of detachment. But there's no detachment when I talk about ¡Livan!, and performances like today's hurt. But Origen told me it's not worth worrying about, considering.
The world was made and took its beginning at a certain time, and is to be destroyed on account of its wickedness.

So now I've got that to look forward to.

5 comments:

El Gran Color Naranja said...

Harris has been brought up to not only play for Clayton, but for Zimmerman, too. That'll happen if you fill your bench with 3 guys who play 1B.

I feel like Jim Bowden is actively choking this team to death. He sees the team is dying, so he asks someone to pour cough syrup down its throat. He lets up just enough to let the cough syrup go down, then gets back to choking.

Basil said...

I think we discussed this before, but it's my understand Origen believed even Satan himself could repent and become right with God.

Something to think about with Bowden, I guess . . .

El Gran Color Naranja said...

Wait, his full name is Origenes Adamantius? He might have been the inspiration for the name of the metal in Wolverine. That's fascinating.

El Gran Color Naranja said...

wait, looked it up. It's not. This guy is just old and boring. I'm going to watch "100 Mexicanos Dicieron" now.

Ryan said...

They decided in 553 that he was wrong about everything - no better than Arius! Maybe I should find a less heretical church father to correspond with. Anyone have Irenaeus' email?