We Are In Hell

As if it weren't difficult enough being a Nats fan. We have no owner and we don't get to watch our team on TV -- those alone would be enough to make the Nats a laughingstock, so why are we also saddled with this bumbling clown of a GM? Why does this happen to us? How can Jim Bowden think that what he's doing is right? I may have an explanation.

I have discovered a system of thought, an ethos if that's what that means, that approves wholeheartedly of Jim Bowden's reign as General Manager. Unfortunately, it means that we're in Hell. English poet and artist William Blake, dead now some 180 years, envisioned a place where everything Bodes does makes perfect sense in his Proverbs of Hell.

...as the sayings used in a nation, mark its character, so the Proverbs of Hell, shew the nature in Infernal wisdom better than any description of buildings or garments.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" is probably what you're yelling at your monitor right now, but settle down and check it out:

Bowden is often criticized for his discomfort with inaction. He doesn't feel like he's doing his job unless he's not only wheeling but also dealing. We didn't need Preston Wilson, he didn't make us better, but Bodes wasn't going to sit on his hands and not trade for him. Hell approves.

Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.

When Bowden finds a player he wants, he goes after him with the tenacity of a starving pitbull. It took him a year to get Alfonso Soriano, but he stuck with it.

He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.

Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires.

It's no secret that, for all Bowden's frenetic activity, he tends to focus on one or two areas. This winter, he stockpiled second basemen and lefty pinch-hitters. I wondered why, and you probably did too. But it makes perfect sense in Hell.

You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.

Bodes isn't just a Hell-approved GM. He's also a Hell-approved dresser, as the underworld apparently loves flashy tracksuits and leather pants.

The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.

Exuberance is Beauty.

Will he learn? Hell says yes.

If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.

We can only hope. Our GM isn't the only proof that we Nats fans dwell in Hell. Frank Robinson's managerial style is well represented in the Proverbs.

The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.

The tygers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

If only Tomo Ohka knew about the horses and tygers. If you weren't amazed that William Blake perfectly foresaw the only environment in which the lousy management of the Nationals would be celebrated, get ready to be amazed by his most unnerving description of Hell and its works.

When thou seest an Eagle, thou seest a portion of Genius. Lift up thy head!

We are in Hell.