Sunday Starters

The Nationals are being sued by a religion.

Well, not really. What happened was some Seventh Day Adventist ushers got fired because they couldn't work Friday or Saturday games, so they filed a lawsuit.

It's a knotty problem, you know? I try to stay clear of these kinds of issues. I'm interested in pissing off only people I'm interested in pissing off, and that does not include people with strong opinions on when the Sabbath is or what you should or shouldn't do on it.

My advice in these matter is to read the Antigone and try not be like either of the main characters.

My takeaway from all this is that it's gotten a lot more difficult to complain about the Nationals. That's where the misleading first line of this very post came from. It might not have been actually "true" in the conventional sense, but I have developed certain habits following this team for ten years, and among them is the tendency to assume the worst at all times.

It used to serve me well - everything really was awful. Even when I thought something was going to be pretty good, Austin Kearns would run in out of right field and break its leg.

It got to the point that blogging was too easy, especially after I got my template going. If this lawsuit had happened in 2006, I would have just filled it in like this:

"Bodes, having already [something about Cristian Guzman or Jose Guillen] and [something about Smiley Gonzalez], has topped himself by trampling on the rights of a religious minority. Blargh I hate everything here's Professor Bacon."

In 2015, the Nats being sued for persecuting the faithful like a bunch of baseball Diocletians seems more like just something that happened rather than another example of the organization's thorough-going incompetence and malevolence.

On balance it's an improvement, but it does make the blogging more difficult.

Lunch

You hear about this Rob Dibble controversy? It's about the silliest thing ever, but it gives me an opportunity to take a snarling walk down memory lane.

Rob Dibble was fired from his analyst job after Stephen Strasburg's season-ending injury prompted him to make some of those feral "walk it off, rookie!" noises that you may remember from when Ryan Church ran into a wall.

He recently claimed that Strasburg's dad was so incensed that he emailed the Nats, and that's what prompted the pink slip. Stan Kasten, formerly the guy in charge of apologizing for Jim Bowden, disputes that and hopes Dibble "gets whatever help he needs."

This argument is so trivial that it doesn't matter who's actually correct. Therefore, I'm siding with Dibble.

I know the guy's easy to hate; I've certainly taken shots at him. But Dibble's done some good. He provided a necessary counterweight to Bob Carpenter's cult recruiter cheerfulness. Remember the time he went all Dada and told you to bring a lunch? He wasn't here long, but he left memories that will endure forever. Some of them are even good.

Stan Kasten, on the hand, never did a thing for us. This is a guy who couldn't get rid of Jim Bowden without the help of the FBI. And when the Smiley Gonzalez scandal finally did break, Kasten bravely stood up and blamed everyone in the world but himself.

For all the talk about Kasten bringing the lessons of the Braves dynasty to Washington, the best thing about the Kasten Era was that we lost 100 games only twice.

Casimir Pulaski Day

Happy Casimir Pulaski Day, everyone! As far as regional holidays go, this is definitely my favorite. It's much better than Lee-Jackson Day. Please enjoy this artistic representation of the last thing many a redcoat ever saw:

You limeys are about to get PULASKIED!

A further Bowden thought that has very little to do with Polish cavalry commanders: It seems like Bodes had been on kind of a hot streak, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of his more recent moves had an impact on that thus far only hypothesized entity, a Good Nationals Team. Jesus Flores, Lastings Milledge, Elijah Dukes - good players, acquired for very little.

But didn't Bowden's moves always seem like that, only to fall apart when confronted with on field reality? I don't want to single anyone out, but I can't help but be reminded of a certain outfielder whose name rhymes with "Costin' Earns." Also, if that unnamed outfielder wanted to follow Milledge into the field of terrible hip-hop, there's his name right there.

I asked Casimir Pulaski about all this, but he just gave me that "why are you spending all this time worrying about a children's game when you could be trampling Englishmen with a horse, you peon" look. It's this look:

*Snort*

Ave Atque Vale, Bodes

We're finally rid of Jim Bowden. Let's be honest: he had his moments. He pulled off some really nifty deals. Jesus Flores for nothing, for instance. He pulled off some other deals that sure seemed like coups, but didn't work out for one reason or another - the infamous Cincinnati hijacking, after which everyone we got turned into a pumpkin. Or my personal favorite, Vinny Castilla for Brian Lawrence.

He had other virtues as well. He couldn't keep his mouth shut, he couldn't keep the tracksuits in the closet, and he couldn't keep himself off that damn Segway. For a franchise desperate to establish a brand name, these kinds of things are, if not important, at least worth something. Look at the racing presidents.

His virtues, though, are swamped by a tidal wave of whatever the opposite of virtues is. Not all his deals were good ones. I still think shipping out Maicer Izturis and Juan Rivera for Jose Guillen was a huge mistake; even huger once the Guzman contract is appended. Smiley Gonzalez for $1.4 million proved to be a loser as well. But beyond any individual decision, Bowden presided over a team that had gotten steadily worse, with a stagnant player development system and lagging fan interest that not even the dopest tracksuit could allay. A lot of things had to go wrong for the Nats to lose 102 games last year, and the fact that Bowden wasn't responsible for all of them doesn't mean he wasn't responsible for any of them.

And that's why it's worrying that it took a massive scandal to finally bring Bowden down. You can't find fault with Bodes getting the GM job in the first place. The Nats were wards of MLB, and there was no guarantee that whoever took the job would keep it for more than a year. Better men than Bodes turned it down, so they settled. Bowden was a stopgap, a bargain bin GM for a bargain bin franchise.

My hope, and I don't think I was alone in this, was that the new owners would come in and hit reset, that they would purge all the vestiges of the Nationals' embarrassing orphan background. New stadium, new players, new management - imagine my disappointment when the first thing the Lerners and Kasten did was confirm Bowden in a post he hadn't earned. There was to be no clean break; the owners were not saviors. They were just some guys with a lot of money and too little judgment.

Jim Bowden should have been fired on Day 1 of the Lerner regime. The fact that he wasn't is a sign of complacency, and nothing that's happened since has changed my mind. And that's why, as welcome as Bodes' final dismissal is, I'm skeptical that much will change. That 100-loss season, that unsigned top draft pick, that million-plus paid to Dominican con artists - these things happened under management that is by and large still with us. If Bowden is responsible enough for these things to be fired, what about his bosses?

Still, it's at least a step in the right direction. We won't get a completely fresh start, but at least Nationals management will not consist largely of people being investigated by the FBI. The team's Dominican operation (at least) has to be rebuilt from the ground up, but a good GM can do it. Let's hope we get one for a change.

As for Bodes, I just hope he uses all his newly-found free time to write a book.

Bowden Resigns

From the Nationals Journal:

Jim Bowden resigned this morning as Washington Nationals general manager. The team has not yet named a successor, even on an interim basis.

Another original Nat bites the dust, and Bowden's one of the few (according to my recollections) who wasn't traded to Arizona. More later.

He Better Soup Up That Segway

The bear ate Jose Rijo and now it's only getting faster.

A federal investigation into the skimming of signing bonuses given to baseball prospects from Latin America is looking at Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden as far back as 1994, when he was GM of the Cincinnati Reds, according to a baseball executive familiar with the investigation.

This is a pretty big deal. As far as I know, it's the first time the verb between "FBI" and "Jim Bowden" has been "investigate" rather than "question." Bodes' position seemed to be that of an innocent enabler; a bumbling, ass-headed dupe like Stan Kasten rather than an actual perpetrator. Also, you'd think that this has to be it for Bowden. Be honest - are you going to miss him?

Speaking of embarrassing Dominican Republic-related affairs that keep the Nats in the News, the Odalis Perez situation has been resolved.

Today, the Nationals released Perez, 31, terminating the waiting game that began almost two weeks ago when the left-hander decided not to report to camp. On Feb. 5, Perez had signed a non-guaranteed minor league contract with Washington, a deal that would pay him $850,000 if he made the club. But after Perez signed the deal, he regretted it. He held out for a better deal. He never reported to spring training. He cut off all contact with the team.

A couple notes here: First, I need to give a shout-out to Chico Harlan for holding it down at the Nationals Journal. He's been doing some great work, and it's pretty much the only place I go for the shameful parade of Nationals news. The second note, though, is that this is pretty poorly worded. Whether or not Perez "signed" that deal is important, to the extent that anything involving Odalis Perez and the Nats is important.

Jim Bowden says he did sign. Perez says he did not; he merely agreed to sign. The Players' Association has no record of any contract being signed. And even if that weren't the case, in a case of he said/he said, I tend to side with the he who is not under investigation by the federal government.

By the way, can someone look at this and tell me what the hell is going on?

This just in!

But behind the scenes, according to sources, some within the team's ownership group -- which includes Managing Principal Owner Theodore N. Lerner, seven principal owners and nine founding partners -- are eager to cut ties with the general manager they inherited almost three years ago, and see the investigation as a way of facilitating Bowden's exit. The Nationals, one source said, are encouraging the investigation to return an answer on Bowden so the parties can "go on their merry way."

OK, look: I'm done mocking Bowden. He's no longer our problem - he's done. My question is, what kind of vacillating, indifferent, spineless, moronic owners does this team have that they need a major, multi-national, FBI-investigated scandal to fire the GM? You nitwits should have fired this clown the very damn moment you got the team. It's not like you weren't warned. It's becoming ever clearer that Bowden isn't the biggest problem this franchise has - there's a much bigger roadblock made up of a bunch of rich subnormals who can't be fired.

Bowden has embarrassed this franchise in more ways than I can ever hope to remember at this point, but the slope-browed cavemen who own my favorite baseball team are, "according to sources," actually relieved that they were flim-flammed out of $1.4 million because it gives them an excuse to fire an underperforming, overembarrassing employee. It's not hard to dismiss someone, you Cro-Magnons. It's not the damn quest for fire. It's easy. Let me put it in terms you wall-painters can maybe understand: Man with tracksuit bad. Tell him go away. You real big stupids.

We'd just better hope that a black monolith lands at the ballpark pretty soon and finally teaches these evolutionary throwbacks how to hit things with a bone, or else we're in for a practical eternity of stupidity.

Pursued by a Bear

It's like they say - when you're being chased by bear, you don't have to outrun the bear; you just have to outrun Jose Rijo.

José Rijo, the Washington Nationals' front-office member linked most closely to the fraudulent signing of a Dominican prospect, has taken a leave of absence from the team.

I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping that this is only the beginning of an organization-wide purification by fire that claims thousands.

Above: Jim Bowden outrunning Jose Rijo. For now.

Meanwhile, Odalis Perez still isn't in camp, despite having allegedly agreement to don the W for another year. Perez was Washington's opening day starter last year. Maybe that says more about the Nationals than it does about Odalis, but it's something. He was . . . OK. League average, more or less, and that - thanks to the mysterious forces that control and occasionally destroy the economy - tends to be worth millions of dollars. It costs good money to keep Matt Chico off the mound.

Because of that, I was certainly surprised when he agreed to come back for a non-guaranteed 850 large. Odalis was apparently as surprised as I was, because as soon as he sobered up or got around to looking up the exchange rate with the Dominican peso or whatever, he decided that that kind of deal wasn't worth getting on a plane; he's staying home.

The reaction to this (at least among the tiny proportion of the population that is at all interested) is predictable and understandable. Plenty of fat jokes, shots at Perez' ability, and plenty of possibly overdone enthusiasm about this year's crop of Young Pitchers of teh Future. Nothing wrong with any of that. After all, it's a matter of public record that Odalis is a dick.

He stopped his O's 45's program, in which he bought 45 tickets for inner-city school children to attend his starts, after losing his starting job. He said he would not reinstate the program now that he is starting again because he felt he never got enough credit from the club or the public for his charitable contributions.

Also, Jim Bowden claims that Perez has actually signed a contract. Jim Bowden also claimed that Smiley Gonzalez was worth $1.4 million and that Aaron Crow was too expensive, but maybe he's right this time. If that's the case, then yes, Odalis Perez should absolutely get his ass out of bed and come to camp.

If it's not, though - and when we're figuring the odds of the Nats being wrong about this, we have to adjust for the indefensible, franchise-destroying incompetence we've seen from time to time - I certainly don't blame Perez for reconsidering a cut-rate contract with the worst team in baseball. I'm not going to make a moral argument for backing out of an agreement, even if it's an unofficial, "engaged to be engaged" kind of situation. Haven't we all had momentary lapses in judgment that have haunted us for years? Deciding to start a blog, for instance? Wouldn't we like the chance to take it back?

At any rate, my advice to Perez is to grow a goatee, forge Johan Santana's driver's license, and come back to the negotiating table. The Nats have proven themselves vulnerable to that kind of bargaining ploy.

Novelty

Damn. Look, I'm used to History proving me right. Remember when Will Carroll said DC's bid for the Expos was dead, and I disagreed? Remember when Will Carroll said that Daisuke Matsuzaka threw an inscrutable magical demon dragon pitch, and I disagreed? Remember when Will Carroll said that he was going to work out until he looked like Brian Giles, and I disagreed? But generally, it takes a while, and generally it's the main thrust of one of my bodacious arguments that's proven, as opposed to some offhand, possibly libelous joke. So this is kind of a new thing for me. Check it:

Ryan T. Moore, July 22, 2008:

Jim Bowden seems committed to spending his time exploring, like a tracksuited Magellan whizzing around on a Segway, novel forms of bad behavior.

James Gordon Bowden III, July 24, 2008:

. . . . the Nationals have already decided that reliever Chad Cordero will be non-tendered. The news comes two weeks after Cordero had shoulder surgery.

General manager Jim Bowden first gave the news to Sports Talk 980 AM in Washington on Wednesday afternoon. Bowden would later confirm what he said in an e-mail to MLB.com['s Bill Ladson] during Wednesday night's game between the Nationals and Giants [we lost].

If I repeat myself, then I repeat myself: Damn. There's nothing wrong with cutting Chad Cordero, other than that he should have been traded a couple years ago. But announcing it like it's a damn wrestling promo -- well, that's what I meant by novel forms of bad behavior.

But, hey, as long as Chad's cool with it, right?

When reached by phone, Cordero was not happy to hear the news [from Bill Ladson of all people].

"I'm shocked he would say it now and make it official. It's a bit upsetting. It's early," Cordero said. "I understand that it's a business."

Good going, Bodes. The guy as responsible as anyone for the miraculous, Bowden's-job-saving 2005 season now thinks (knows?) that you're an awful person. Only now does he realize that the Cincinnati Reds, people who were kind of upset about September 11th, and robbed Dominican teenagers were right all along. Welcome to the club, Chad. If you're looking for a place to complain, I can guarantee that anything you want to post here won't fall off the front page for six or seven months.

P.S. And in the category of weird stuff you find while idly Googling instead of typing out the content, here's this. Jim Bowden for Congress: Because nothing says sound governance like a pixelly picture of a couple of boats.

Dysfunction

Sure, the Nationals are terrible. Can't hit, can't field, about to put Cristian Guzman back in there with a not-insane expectation of improvement. And yeah, local interest is at an all-time low, all-time being defined as about two and a half years. The Nats are reduced to sending some dude to my office to beg us to buy steeply discounted tickets (true story) (I didn't buy any). But at least the front office is doing the right things. Building the farm system, putting good men in charge, making sure that the minor leaguers have all the sunflower seeds they need.

Or maybe not. Ken Rosenthal -- sort of a younger Peter Gammons without the rock star wannabe weirdness -- has a surprisingly long and in-depth look at the dysfunction in the Nats' front office. I say surprisingly because the piece can be of interest only to Nationals fans, and of those only the ones who spend too much of their time thinking about the team. So I'm glad it's there, but I'm surprised the Dayn-lovers at Fox Sports considered it worth effort.

It confirms what people who have more dealings with the business end of the Nats than I do have known for a while: things doesn't work. Quite a bit of it I'm willing to dismiss: there are quite a few former employees who don't have anything good to say about Bowden, and that's to be expected. Rather more troubling is that no one in baseball except Stan Kasten has anything good to say about Bowden. Similarly troubling is that the Nats can't seem to anything right and chalk it up to inexperience. Well sure, it's not like that one Lerner or that other Lerner or Stan Kasten has any experience . . . hey, wait a damn minute! If they can't run a baseball team, why is Kasten hanging around? Eye candy? Needham fodder?

I'm not in a very analytical state of mind right now -- that picture of Feinstein has me kind of dazed -- and I look forward to what the Natmosphere has to say about this thing. It doesn't make me despair over the future of the franchise, but I'm a bit less sanguine than I was this morning.

Kasten: "If Bodes is OK with Ryan, He's OK with Me"

From Sports Illustrated:

The marriage of holdover Nationals GM Jim Bowden and new team president Stan Kasten was predicted by some to be a tough one from the start, and while there are whispers the odd couple isn't seeing eye-to-eye, Kasten strongly stressed that those rumors are untrue. "That takes me by complete surprise,'' Kasten responded by phone. "I think everyone's on the same page, and I know we've made a lot of progress from what was a difficult situation when we took over. Even Jim's critics would have to admit he's had a pretty good run of moves.'' [Festive, Mexican-themed emphasis mine]

Kasten didn't name any names, but I know when someone's talking about me. And the sooner he starts using Distinguished Senators for all his personnel decisions, the better this crazy thing's going to go. Here's a tip for you, Stan: I've got the inside line on a mysterious new pitch. Call me.